Woman finally says yes to a date after a year of him asking. Then he waits until the check comes and shows who he really is: ‘a $100 Bill for dinner’

A woman says a first date she finally agreed to after a year of being asked out ended with the man offering to pay for dinner in exchange for sex. She shared the story in a TikTok video that has been viewed more than 433,000 times.

The woman, who posts under the username @goldenoreoe1 and has been identified as Alysha Carson, said she met the man about a year ago at a work event. She said he messaged her repeatedly asking her out, and she eventually agreed to meet him for drinks and food.

Carson said the date started well, with about two hours of what she described as good conversation over tapas and drinks. She said she noticed some warning signs during the date, but did not consider them serious enough to end things early.

Date takes a turn when the bill arrives

Carson said the check sat on the table for about 15 minutes before the waiter returned and asked if they were ready to pay. She said the man’s expression turned serious, and he told her, “just to be transparent, like this wasn’t a date necessarily.”

He then told her he could pay for the meal or they could split it, according to Carson. He asked about her recent dating life, and she said she told him she had not been on a date since February. She said he then said he was starting a new job soon and was not looking for anything serious, but also was not looking for a one-night stand.

Carson said the man then told her, “Yeah, I mean, or, you know, I could pay for this now if you want to give me some a–.” She said he made the comment loudly enough for people at nearby tables to hear, including a man at an adjacent table who turned to look at them.

Carson described the comment as making the meal feel transactional. She said the exchange reminded her of a similar experience in March, when a man she had been talking to changed his behavior significantly after they exchanged phone numbers.

After the comment about the bill, Carson said she went to the restroom and asked a waitress if the restaurant had a back exit. She said there was none, so she left through the front door without telling the man she was leaving. She said she felt “zero guilt” about the decision.

“This is like, he’s objectifying me and treating me like I’m less than and not like I’m not worthy of a $100 bill for dinner, and like that’s not okay,” she explained. 

In a follow-up video, Carson thanked viewers for their response and said she had not expected the story to reach so many people. She raised a question about an interaction that happened during the date, in which a man the date knew approached them, thanked him for help with a job, and then told Carson the man was a “pillar of the community” who rescues dogs and cats. 

Carson said she now wonders whether the interaction was staged, though she said she was not certain. Interactions like this are not uncommon in dating, like when a New York woman says her Hinge date’s mother allegedly called her a bad choice. 

Carson also addressed a common practice among women of bringing money on dates in case they need to pay and leave. She said she used to do this but has since decided she will not pay regardless of how the date goes, since she did not ask to go out. This debate over who pays extends beyond dinner, such as when a Chicago man was asked to cover his date’s nails before they even met. 

Many commenters focused on the contradiction they saw in the man’s behavior. One wrote, “why do men think a $40 meal should get them laid but also think women should have like no s*xual history? how do their brains make those two things work???”

Several comments reflected on the broader pattern of giving people the benefit of the doubt. One read, “‘Let me give him a chance’ will be our biggest downfall.” Some commenters proposed the situation could be reported. One wrote, “Maybe we need to start reporting these men for solicitation?”

Others pointed out what they saw as inconsistencies in the man’s story. One commenter questioned his explanation about his job, writing, “‘Starting a new job soon’ Girl you didn’t know that man was unemployed?”

Carson responded to some of the feedback in her follow-up video, saying she agreed with viewers who argued that a person’s willingness to follow certain rhetoric reflects something about their character. She said she plans to pay closer attention to her instincts in the future when similar warning signs come up early in a date.