Unlike Sam, Hurricane Kat’s brewing a storm on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’

Last night’s episode Bachelor in Paradise will be remembered for two things: One of them, coincidentally, being number two — or the lack thereof — and the other being a a woman who thinks she’s number one. It will also serve as something of a calm before the storm, or in this case, an absolute hurricane.

No two women could possibly be as different as Sam and Kat; Sam’s intelligence and responsibility far outweigh Kat’s embarrassing immaturity.

Truth is that both Sam and Kat are full of sh**, but for totally different reasons. We knew going into tonight’s episode that Sam has been constipated for nine days, and would need to go home if she didn’t poop in time, per doctor’s orders. Apparently, being in familiar surroundings can help the poopless among us spring a welcomed leak, not to mention that the relief of stress can relieve our bowels.

And so it was that Sam was unable to properly discharge, and thus got discharged from the show as she said goodbye to everyone, including Aaron S., who was her best connection. It was a crappy reason to have to leave, but we hope Sam’s current problem has a healthy outcome — especially considering how well she handled everything. There’s a reason why every guy there was enamored with her emotional maturity.

Unlike Sam, however, Kat absolutely lost her sh**.

After the notes from the Paradise truth box were read, Hurricane Kat was none too pleased about others being none too pleased about her Brayden brush off. Thankfully, Brayden begins to gets to know Rachel instead. Aaron S., still reeling from Sam’s departure, told Kat how she did Brayden wrong, and Kat not only didn’t care, she did her own version of Sam by not giving a sh**.

At least, that’s what she claimed. Of course, she also told Aaron S. that something must be wrong with him because he’s a single man who is 33 years old. Worth noting that Kat is 27, and if she continues with spreading her insanity, she may find herself single long beyond 33.

Kat then took to the confessional, and proved her claims of not caring to be no more than lies, as she screamed for about three minutes straight at the camera, while complaining about every man on the beach. In fact, her rant was so loud that everyone there heard it. She then bolted down to the bar to get a drink.

Then, it happened. A preview of Kat’s upcoming chaotic craziness shocked the Bachelor world, causing viewers to look away while not really looking away to quickly double-check that next week’s episode will be on at the same time.

Social media lit up like Snoop Dogg decorating a Christmas tree, as Bachelor fans nationwide didn’t hold back their reactions. We were all warned by Brooklyn about Kat’s craziness, and how interesting it is that Brooklyn was no longer there to witness it all?

Kat, who once was the happy rose recipient of Brayden before ditching him as soon as Tanner landed on the shore, will have Tanner ditch her in similar fashion in an upcoming episode. Perhaps not too similar, however, considering Tanner carries respect for others, while Kat straight up brutally ignored Brayden at one point, and played the victim thereafter.

Truth is, there’s nothing wrong with moving on to another date on the show but, unlike Brayden, Kat can’t handle it. Tanner accepts a date from a new arrival and, to make matters worse, it all happens on Kat’s birthday. No way!

Suddenly, we see Kat turned into a spoiled child, crying about the birthday betrayal and when the other beach goers present her with a birthday cake, she appears to take it and toss it into the ocean.

With emotions running wild and utter disorder slamming the waves of Bachelor beach like a hurricane, we are suddenly struck with a cliffhanger. What happens next? Just how crazy will Kat go? How will the other contestants react? Is her birthday cake still edible after being dipped into the ocean?

One thing seems appropriate though, which is that the extremely amazing Sam didn’t have to be there for any of it. Her respectful ways are in direct contrast to Kat’s, and her unfortunate predicament saved her from the wrath of Kat, which is something we might all need to be saved from if we dare keep watching this unhinged sh** show.