‘Why are you kicking your boss out?’: Real-life Mr. Krabs is found as waitress is forced to shoo money-hungry crab out of restaurant

Have you ever thought about how a job description for the same position might vary across different environments? A host or hostess working in New York, for instance, will probably have a different set of responsibilities than one who works in a small town; the former needs to have strong opinions on how pizza is made, while the latter needs to be able to remember regular patrons’ names.

Similarly, if you applied for a waitress position in Chicago, you probably wouldn’t have stumbled upon the phrase “Must be willing to deal with crabs and crab-related interruptions swiftly and with impunity,” and if you did, you’d raise an eyebrow or two. But for Florida Keys-based waitresses like TikTok‘s @bubblesxxoo, a hard day’s work isn’t complete without a crustacean-centric showdown.

The 21-second video above documents the highlights of Hunter’s battle with this six-legged SpongeBob SquarePants enthusiast, who appears to have wandered onto the patio of a Florida Keys restaurant in search of, presumably, his one millionth dollar.

No sooner had his crabby heist gotten underway than Hunter rolls up with a broom and begins shooing him off the property. Notice the mercy with which Hunter denies the crab his treasures, softly urging him back into the throes of nature where he belongs while actively trying not to harm him, and notice the stubbornness with which the crab staggers his exit, likely in hopes of memorizing a schematic of the restaurant so that his next plot doesn’t fail.

It is, of course, curious that this crab was shooed away, as the restaurant seems to be in close proximity to a beach, and one would therefore assume that a crab invader would instead be captured and resold as part of a platter. According to a 2019-2020 Visitor’s Guide, Islamorada — the Floridan village where this video was taken, per the TikTok description — is known for its seafood, so maybe this crab at large just happened to catch the Islamorada Empire in a good mood that day.

But let’s address the elephant in the room: was it really money that this crab was after? Who’s to say he wasn’t on a quest to rescue his brethren who angered the Empire a bit too severely? The best measure of both man and beast, after all, is how he chooses to use his freedom, with the true greats enabling the freedom of others.

Or maybe, just maybe, he was after the secret Florida Keys burger formula that the restaurant’s manager keeps in a safe in his office. Indeed, perhaps this crustacean was the equivalent of a scene kid where he comes from, and so where other crabs wanted to be just like Mr. Krabs when they grew up, this one decided he was going to follow in the pint-sized footsteps of Plankton. That, dear readers, is a true disruptor right there.