Governer Newsom promises to rescue America from the ‘Demented Piggie’ who has made America ‘weak’

Gavin Newsom has apparently decided that if you can’t beat the ALL CAPS aesthetic, you might as well steal it from the Mar-a-Lago bathroom stall and make it your own. In a fiery holiday message that reads like it was typed with one hand while the other held Donald Trump by the scruff of his neck against a wall, the Governor of California called the POTUS a “seriously demented piggie” who has “cozied up to dictators” and made America weak.

Newsom and Trump have a long history of exchanging barbs, and neither man has ever shown much interest in pulling their punches. Yet we’ve come a long way since the polite jabs of the president’s first tenure. It feels like yesterday when Trump accused the governor of doing a terrible job managing California’s forests, and Newsom, delivering the political equivalent of a maitre d’ showing someone to the exit, simply said: “You don’t believe in climate change. You are excused from this conversation.”

But now, in 2025, it’s civility that’s been shown the door, and the California governor has finally decided to fight fire with a flamethrower.

The official X account for Governor Newsom’s press office released a statement that might just have been written by his arch-nemesis in the style he favors, criticizing Trump for turning the Oval Office into a place for “grifters & crooks” that have divided the country and shredded “the constitution in broad daylight.” The administration’s handpicked yes-men also get the full Newsom treatment, with nicknames that sound like rejected Batman villains: “Kash Money” Patel, “Dumb Dumb” Pete, “Kosplay” Kristi, and JD “Just Dance” Vance.

The takedown is very imaginatively worded, so I’ll just leave the tweet here for your reading pleasure.

Coming on the heels of yet another feverish week in Washington, D.C., with Trump offering a hateful Thanksgiving message to the nation (the man never misses a chance to take a jab at his supposed enemies, after all, and they’re often not very coherent, either), this feels like a discernible shift in Newsom’s confrontational strategy, or else someone gave the intern the password.

The governor ended his message by dubbing California the nation’s knight in shining armor, ready to rescue America from these “sick, sick scum.” He even hijacked Trump’s favorite sign-off (“THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER”) and frankly, given the cringeworthy number of times that phrase has burned itself into my retinas in all caps, if this is what finally shames Trump into retiring it, Newsom will have done the nation a genuine service.