Mike Johnson said members of Congress should ‘engage in some stock trading’, how else could they possibly ‘take care of their family’?

You might think it would be a no-brainer to ban senior politicians and their spouses from trading or owning stocks. Anyone with a brain can see there’s a major conflict of interest here, as they can influence or decide policy that’ll benefit specific companies and then laugh all the way to the bank.

It’s just common sense, so we’re glad to see that there’s a bill slowly going through the Senate that aims to ban it for good. The bill, initially known as the Preventing Elected Leaders from Owning Securities and Investments Act (acronym PELOSI in a dig at Nancy Pelosi’s husband), has since transformed into the Honest Act, and now includes a provision to ban the president and vice president from owning stock.

The bill is now on the Senate Legislative Calendar for debate and may yet become law. Enter Mike Johnson, who, in this clip from 2025 that’s currently going viral, broke out the world’s tiniest violin for America’s impoverished legislators and played a mournful ballad.

Those poor unfortunates!

“We should ashkually let Congress commit insider trading so they can supplement their incomes.” Have we lost our minds? pic.twitter.com/G9EBsmA2Qg

— Ned Ryun (@nedryun) May 15, 2026

“The salary of Congress has been frozen since 2009. When you adjust for inflation a member of Congress today is making 31% less than they made in that year. It goes down every year. And over time, if you stay on this trajectory, you’re going to have less qualified people who’re willing to make the extreme sacrifice to run for Congress.”

Let’s just pause here for a moment. Mike, throwing yourself on a hand grenade to selflessly protect your buddies is an “extreme sacrifice”. Being elected to Congress is not. Moving on…

“People just make the reasonable decision as a family and whether or not they can come and have a residence here and a residence at home and do all the things that are required. So, the counter-argument is, and I have some sympathy, look – at least let them engage in some stock trading so that they can continue to y’know, take care of their family.”

Aw, so just a little corruption? As a treat? Just so they can make sure their families are okay? Aw shucks, who could say no to a face like Mike’s?

Incidentally, the baseline salary for the vast majority of rank-and-file members of the United States Congress (both Senators and House Representatives) is $174,000 per year. The median annual salary for all Americans is $63,795, so they make nearly three times more than a typical American worker.

How can those poor dears possibly ever expect to eat, drink, and dress themselves on this meager pittance? So remember, if you see a down-and-out on the street with a can of change in front of them and you feel compelled to donate, remember your poor Congressman or woman! Put that dollar in an envelope and send it their way. How else are they going to afford another ivory backscratcher?