Wisconsin woman was allegedly coerced into selling land to her parents, then they went back on a promise: ‘That’s not love’

Wisconsin woman and former PBS host Inga Orth has shared a deeply personal story on Instagram about selling a portion of her farm to her parents based on an agreement that it would be willed back to her in the future.

Orth, who runs a farm in Wisconsin with her husband, posted a video that has since garnered 1.7 million views.  In the caption, she reflected on the pressure.

“For years, I didn’t know how to say no to my parents. So when they wanted to buy a piece of our farm, I said yes—even though every part of me was telling me not to.”

According to her, the demand stemmed from her mother’s need to keep her father happy. She claimed, “I was told he needed to be out on the farm to be content, and it felt like nothing—not my peace, not my marriage, not my home—was allowed to stand in the way of that.”

In the video, Orth noted that she was still angry at the situation. She claimed that her parents insisted she sell the land, “They insisted in many different ways.” She told Instagram, “Now, this is not our family farm.  My parents dairy farmed in Washington State. This is mine and Chance’s farm.  My dad needed to live out here so he could look at cows and this view.  It was the only way he could be happy, my mom told me.” 

A failed attempt to deny their wishes

Orth mentioned that she tried to find solutions, even visiting Zillow every day to find other property in the region. However, they only seemed to want her land. “Finally, they told me that my husband was a piece of s—. That I would never be able to be successful on this farm without them living here. That my husband would never help me with anything,” she claimed.

Orth said, “I just… I don’t know how to articulate what that feels like when your parents are your f—ing bullies”, adding, “I sold them a piece of land because it was the only way. I couldn’t say no anymore.  It was because I couldn’t keep saying no. I ran out of different ways to say no.”

“I finally said yes,” she said, “because they were going to put that land back into a trust to come back to me and my husband upon their death. So it was like, they’re just using it for now. When I asked them about that paperwork to put that land in the trust, you know what my mom said? This little place was theirs.” 

Allegedly, her mother justified by telling her, “We don’t want to because we don’t want you to have to take on the inheritance tax after we die from this little piece of property up here.”  Then, she purportedly told Orth, “And also, we’d like to be able to resell it when we need to, if we decide to move.”

Orth admitted that it enraged her. She burst out,  “And I thought, ‘Are you f—ing kidding me? That wasn’t the plan, lady.’ At that moment, I realized that my parents had lied to me.” She later told her viewers how it ended in the comments section, confirming, “They sold it to someone else last fall. I am never getting it back.”

The community rallied with support and insights into the nature of controlling relationships. One user commented, “Awakening to the reality that you have emotionally immature and/or narcissistic parents is truly the hardest and most devastating realization.” Recently, an author’s estranged mother took to Goodreads to tear apart the book and her daughter.

According to Choosing Therapy, dealing with controlling parents can have long-lasting effects. It can cause low self-esteem, difficulty with decision-making, and trouble setting boundaries. The outlet notes that recognizing key controlling behaviors is the first step toward reclaiming one’s life. 

This would include behaviors like manipulating with guilt or invalidating feelings. This is something a Redditor faced when she tried to take some time for herself and read instead of hosting. Strategies for managing these relationships in adulthood include setting clear boundaries, building a support system, and prioritizing one’s own mental health.

Orth concluded her post by emphasizing the lesson she has taken from the ordeal. “What I’ve finally learned is this: I am no longer responsible for sacrificing myself so other adults can be okay,” she wrote. “If someone else’s happiness depends on me abandoning myself, that’s not love. That’s a burden that was never mine to carry.”