Put simply, Julia Roberts has more money than you. If you only showed up here to confirm what you suspected RE: Roberts’ ability to buy and sell your mud-people, Hungry-Man-frozen-dinner-eating, 9-to-5 existence a thousand times over, then you can stop reading now.
Julia Roberts could buy most of the buildings in your hometown, name them after you, and then destroy them in a series of choreographed explosions, timed to the beat of your least favorite song, which she would purchase the rights to, because that’s how wealthy she is.
If you were at a fancy auction that was also being attended by Julia Roberts, and the auctioneer announced a surprise addition to the docket, and that addition was all of your middle school journals including the parts where you drew pictures, Julia Roberts would be able to outbid you with the delicate effortlessness of a butterfly landing on a spring blossom. After toying with you by outbidding you a dollar at a time for hours – maybe days – she could land a killing blow, offering more money than you make in a year, then spend the evening performing a live streamed reading of your adolescent fantasies set against a 19th century mahogany fireplace to millions of rapt hangers-on.
I’m not saying that she would do any of this, only that she could.
That’s because Julia Roberts’ net worth – according to the estimates of the people at Celebrity Net Worth, who really do put a lot of time into thinking about these things – is a full quarter of a billion dollars. $250 million. That’s nearly $100 million more than Danny Ocean set out to steal in Ocean’s 11, and Roberts never even went to prison.
How Julia Roberts made more money than you
Helpfully, she made her money by starring in movies about heists instead of carrying them out. From humble beginnings she amassed her fortune, beginning with a scant $50,000 payday for 1988’s Mystic Pizza. Two years later, she commanded half a million for Pretty Woman. The year after that, $7 million for Hook. The hits just kept on coming, and Roberts was soon collecting eight-figure paychecks plus a cut of the gross in some of the biggest pictures coming out of Hollywood. She also made Flatliners, which is strange to think about now.
Of note, Mona Lisa Smile netted her $25 million, and a five-year contract with Lancome cosmetics in 2010 made her a further $50 million. She has purchased and sold over $50 million in real estate over the course of her career, and insured her own mouth for $30 million in 2012. You, meanwhile, wore boxer shorts with worn-out elastic while you ate a toaster pastry for dinner last night, and canceled your Apple TV Plus subscription when the monthly price jumped to $9.
Or maybe I’m projecting. The point is, let’s not fight. Julia Roberts makes more money than either of us.
