Its no secret that the internet is filled with absolutely bonkers people. Folks from all walks of life converge on social media every day to gush about things they love. Classic cartoons are no exception to this rule, and users do more than gush about long cancelled TV series.
We’re not including bonkers storylines actually used in cartoons in this list, rather these are the fan concocted seriously weird, disturbing, or downright baffling theories centered on beloved childhood staples. From Rugrats to Pokémon, these are the darkest internet theories from across the web.
1. Angelica imagined the rest of the Rugrats cast
This dark theory centers on every baby (excluding Dill Pickles) having died or disappeared in a tragic way. Dill is the only baby Angelica can’t understand, so naturally fans assumed that Rugrats is some sort of baby Sixth Sense. The theory claims that Chuckie died in a car crash, leaving his father a neurotic mess. Tommy was stillborn, leading daddy Stu to lose himself in obsessive toymaking. Phil and Lil, the fraternal twins, look eerily similar because the twins were aborted. Without Angelica knowing the sexes of the would-be babies, they ended up identical clones. Finally, Kimi’s mother was a sex worker who had her child taken from her, leaving Angelica to fill in the gaps through stories told by the distraught mom.
The theory goes on to claim that Angelica’s real mother was a drug addict (completely discounting her real mum, Charlotte), and that next-door neighbor Suzie is the only real friend the bossy blonde has.
2. CatDog are the product of radiation
If you thought of CatDog as some sort of cross-species hybrid twins, think again. The internet has done some serious thinking and has come up with a theory which, honestly, makes a bit of sense. The theory says that CatDog comes from the area around Chernobyl. The series setting of Nearburg is rife with dilapidated buildings, bereft of any “presentable” inhabitants, and its water source seems to be some sort of suspicious green ooze. It even claims that two of the town’s residents, Rancid Rabbit and Lola, aren’t animals but rather humans in Hazmat suits observing the radioactive critters.
That way better than the theory about where the pair’s private bits are.
3. Mr. Krabs is the reason there are no crabs in Bikini Bottom
This incredibly popular theory has been debunked by SpongeBob SquarePants co-executive producer Vincent Waller, but it’s been circulating for so long, it’s practically lore. The theory says that the secret ingredient to the most popular burger under the sea is the missing crab population – and that Mr. Krabs was the one to drive them to extinction. According to Waller, however, the Krabby Patty has no meat in it.
Seems like Krabs propaganda to us.
4. Plank was more than just a piece of wood
The Plank from Ed, Edd n Eddy might seem like just a 2×4, but the piece of wood has some truly bizarre abilities. Plank can seemingly teleport and has regular conversations with its (his?) bald companion, Johnny. The Plank also knows things outside the realm of the 8-year-old’s comprehension, has actively attacked the Kanker sisters, and can even drive a bus. These bizarre moments have led fans to theorize that Plank is actually a variation of a Monolith from Arthur C. Clarke’s 2001: A Space Odyssey.
The most intelligent beings in the universe intent on fostering life, the Monoliths are never fully described, but they are often shown to be rectangular board-like objects. The benevolent life form could be the reason the town of Peach Creek is always in perpetual summer, and that nothing terrible ever seems to befall the town’s residents.
5. Doug’s daydreams were actually him dissociating from reality
One of the key parts of Nickelodeon’s Doug is his very active imagination. The quiet teen spent hours daydreaming. He’d lose himself in his delusions, and snap out of them only after he started pantomiming actions in real life. Fans have two theories about why Doug Funnie was so prone to his vivid hallucinations.
The first is classic internet armchair psychiatrist: Doug Funnie is schizophrenic. His elaborate fantasies include a heroic alter ego Quial Man, and his very own James Bond, Smash Adams. When Doug is in character, the lines between reality and fiction can be pretty blurry, and some fans believe the 12-year-old has an actual medical problem.
The much darker theory asserts that the friendly – if eccentric – neighbor, Mr. Dink, has been abusing Doug for years. Dink regularly tries to lure Doug into his shed and exposed himself to the boys when he was their Scout Leader. The perceived abuse has led some fans to believe that Doug is daydreaming to dissociate from a reality where he is always within reach of his abuser.
6. Ren and Stimpy were abused animals
Nickelodeon’s Ren and Stimpy is, without a doubt, one of the most deranged ‘90s cartoons. While its creator, John Kricfalusi, has been swamped in controversy since 2018, the series has held fast in fans’ hearts, despite its questionable subject matter. One fan theory claims that Ren and Stimpy are the way they are due to an abusive owner. The bald, psychotic chihuahua has been missing his tail since the first episode, and is prone to rapidfire emotional switches. Fat cat Stimpy is dumber than a bag of rocks, and fans think that can only come from some major head trauma resulting in brain damage.
Kricfalusi has gone on the record about his struggle with mental illness. The cartoonist suffered from undiagnosed bipolar disorder and ADHD, and more recently, fans have come to believe that Ren was the incarnation of his battle with mental illness.
7. Hey Arnold’s final film was a fever dream
Nickelodeon’s Hey Arnold might have gotten a neat wrap-up years after the cartoon ended, but fans aren’t convinced it was the icing on the cake. The film gives fans some much-needed closure and sees Arnold and his friends rescue his long-missing parents, but a section of fans aren’t here for the happy ending.
Instead, conspiracy theorists over on Reddit believe that Arnold’s football head is a birth defect, the by-product of junkie parents. Grandpa Phil, unwilling to tell his young grandson about his parents’ addiction, creates elaborate stories about them being heroes. The last thing Arnold remembers about his parents is them flying away on a plane, and of course, fans have taken that as a metaphor for being high.
All that to say that fans think the final film was just a daydream from a young boy who wished for something fantastical from his reality,
8. Ash Ketchum will always be 10 years old
The Fairly Oddparents may have made it cannon that Timmy Turner messed with the flow of time and space, but some fans think that Pokémon’s Ash Ketchum did something similar – though not on purpose. In the first episode of the season, Ash sees the legendary type Pokémon, Ho-Ho. The giant bird has the exceptional ability to grant eternal happiness to those who see it. On the very first day of his journey, all Ash wanted was to be the greatest Pokémon trainer.
With the help of the Ho-Ho, Ash, much like Peter Pan, will always be a little boy striving to be the very best. Which explains how he stayed 10 years old for the series 25-year run.
9. The Wild Thornberrys are all drug addicts
Just because these theories exist, doesn’t mean they’re necessarily good. This theory around the Wild Thornberrys says that nature dad Nigel’s energy levels come from a crack addiction. Eliza’s ability to speak to animals? It’s schizophrenia, of course! Or maybe it’s a hit of acid that just… lasted forever? Oh and big sister Debbie, she’s not just a moody teenager, instead, she’s addicted to cocaine.
Yeah, these theories definitely sound like they came from someone who spends too much time on the internet.
10. Nothing strange happens to the family from Courage the Cowardly Dog
If you own a precocious pup, you know that there are plenty of ridiculous things that freak them out. Plastic bags, vacuums, and even mice can be too daunting for some dogs to deal with. Fans of Courage the Cowardly Dog suspect that all of those spooky critters that haunt Muriel and Eustace’s farm are actually everyday objects and visitors.
It’s even in the name, Courage is a cowardly dog. Still, it doesn’t explain the constant ghosts, apparitions, and curses that befall the Bagge farm on a regular basis.
Published: May 13, 2024 03:42 pm