This Gaming Mouse Is The Greatest Thing In The History Of Things

Companies are pushing the boundaries of technology.  Every day, some engineer is burning lean calories late into the night to find a better way for us to game. Faster processors, more powerful GPU’s, sturdier keyboards and more accurate mice are everywhere thanks to these brave souls. I sometimes lay awake at night and fantasize about what wondrous devices lay ahead. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I don’t think we’re ever going to top this!

Thermaltake’s Element Gaming Mouse Cyclone Edition has set a new precedent for what we should demand from our hardware. The Cyclone is the first mouse to come with a dedicated fan to keep your hand cool and dry as you frag your opponents too busy being both stupefied by your amazing technology and fighting off their swampy fingertips. Worried about taking this baby on the road? Relax, my dear keyboard warrior, for Thermaltake reports the fan only generates 21.7 dB of noise! That’s less than a library’s average noise of 30dB! You can keep your hand cool in a library!

I don’t know how I’ve lived so long without this. It’s a thing of pure beauty and will surely go down in history of one of man’s greatest engineering marvels.

Excuse me, my friend is trying to get my attention for something.

…Well folks, I’ve just been informed that the sweat on my hand indeed comes from my palms and not the tips of my index and middle fingers…. Damn… I thought we had something here.