There have been a lot of nasty words thrown around with regard to the MCU’s Disney Plus shows in recent days – words like “diminishing returns,” “waste of money,” and “Secret Invasion.” It wasn’t always like this. There were good times. Pretty uniformly, they all happened well before each series finale, but still. Good times.
So let’s take a look back at every premiere in the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s television tenure, and all of the tantalizingly bedazzled mystery boxes that the studio has held in front of our faces. Let’s think back to what it was like before we knew how the stories were going to end. Let’s rank how good it felt to speculate, theorize, and debate over what a fresh MCU series had in store based on its premiere episode, back when we were young, naive, and had never heard the name “Ralph Bohner.”
10. Secret Invasion — “Resurrection”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 55%
In an age long passed, “Samuel L. Jackson fights shapeshifting aliens” would have made for a compelling pitch. Today, we know better. We know that Secret Invasion was, in all likelihood, written by someone who left The Bourne Identity playing in the background for the entire month that they spent hospitalized after suffering a chain of severe concussions. Its first episode, “Resurrection,” signaled that there was trouble ahead – not “Emilia Clarke grows a David Bautista arm” trouble, but trouble.
9. She-Hulk: Attorney at Law — “A Normal Amount of Rage”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 87%
“A Normal Amount of Rage” shouldn’t be this low on the list, but here we are. She-Hulk was a lot of fun (not for everyone, of course). Tatiana Maslany is the best thing to sneak out of Canada and into American hearts since the idea that healthcare shouldn’t bankrupt you. The CGI wasn’t perfect, but she and the rest of the cast made it work with their boundless charisma and acting prowess
Where the series premiere suffered was in its struggle to find its tone. Jennifer Walters’ speech to her cousin about how he didn’t know what it’s like to be angry and scared after he’d spent years on the run, lost years of his life to powers beyond his control, and watched his friends die was a smidgen stupid and bad. But it was worth it to find out, as She-Hulk observed, that “Captain America fu-!!!”
8. Loki season 2 — “Ouroboros”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 92%
Audiences had been burned in the days between Loki’s first and second seasons. Secret Invasion, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, and Thor: Love and Thunder had successfully spawned doubts about Marvel Studios’ capability to keep standing. The Eternals would have, too, if anyone had gone to see it.
So folks were sensitive going into Loki’s sophomore year. Nits were picked. A race to see who could be dissatisfied the quickest was run. A tight story, stunning visuals, and the liberal application of Ke Huy Quan kept the wolves from the door, but skepticism and excitement at being the first person to call Marvel’s new show dumb dropped the review scores slightly.
7. Moon Knight — “The Goldfish Problem”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 92%
Know what’s nuts? Moon Knight. Know what else is nuts? How Moon Knight came together, telling a self-contained story while setting up for more to come, fitting into a larger universe without intubating crossover potential into the audience’s trachea. The first episode is edge-of-your-seat mystery box action and adventure, unique to the franchise in every aspect. It lost a couple of points for Oscar Isaac’s Dick-van-Dyke-in-Mary-Poppins accent, but otherwise? Chef’s kiss.
6. The Falcon and the Winter Soldier — “New World Order”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 93%
Just like She-Hulk’s premiere shouldn’t be as low as it is on the list, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier’s shouldn’t be this high. It is, at its core, the story of a guy getting a disc sled, then not wanting the disc sled, and then getting upset when someone else gets the disc sled. Also, Bucky feels bad about killing people. That’s all Bucky ever does. In any case, “New World Order” does a fine enough job setting up a series that you probably don’t remember much about, by being an episode that also borders on being not that memorable.
5. Loki season 1 — “Glorious Purpose”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 97%
“Glorious Purpose” doesn’t just masterfully introduce viewers to a new hierarchy of weirdness in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It doesn’t stop at making infinite multiversal variants of familiar characters a relatable, easily digested story element. It’s not enough that it recaps a decade of storytelling while making you excited to see what comes next.
It also uses futuristic, space-age technology to take Tom Hiddleston’s clothes off, a decision that the majority of the internet can get behind.
4. Ms. Marvel — “Generation Why”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 97%
To get a good read on how terrific Ms. Marvel was, you have to read between the lines a little. It managed to nail down near-universal acclaim as an adaptation of a deeply beloved character, despite changing everything about said character’s abilities and origin story. The series premiered at the dawn of America’s love affair with hating Marvel properties, and it still got good reviews. Its debut episode is stylish, unique, charming, inspiring, and fun. If “good” isn’t something you are, it’s something you do, then Ms. Marvel did really good.
3. Hawkeye — “Never Meet Your Heroes”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 100%
Hawkeye didn’t necessarily stick the landing, but man, what a ride. The show would eventually get around to introducing Vincent D’onofrio’s Wilson Fisk to the MCU proper and set up what looks like a painfully bumpy ride in Echo. But for its opening act, it gave us Kate Bishop, a more human, vulnerable take on Clint Barton, Rogers: The Musical, and Clint hating Rogers: The Musical.
2. What If…? — “Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 100%
What If…? Should have been a harder sell. Based on the comic of the same name, it presented high-concept rhetoricals and went full-bore producing them. The first episode sees Peggy Carter taking Steve Rogers’ predestined place as the Allied Forces’ Super Soldier, rocking a Union Jack-emblazoned shield and a very British fury. It ruled, and what’s more, it helped set the stage for one of the better MCU cameos in recent memory during Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.
1. WandaVision — “Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 100%
First thought, best thought. The original Disney Plus MCU streaming series had so many unopened mystery boxes that it was like Christmas at Agatha Christie’s house. Or a different, less forced analogy. That one was pretty sloppy.
What wasn’t sloppy was the first episode of WandaVision, in which, for no clear reason, a dead synthezoid and a traumatized child of war shacked up in a house made of canned laughter and primal fear. We had so many questions in those first 30 minutes. At this point, we’d never heard the name “Ralph Bohner.” It was a simpler time.
Yes, I’m still mad about Ralph Bohner. You should be, too.
Published: Oct 11, 2023 04:14 pm