The Only Person To Actually Storm Area 51 Gates Was A 60-Year-Old Woman

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The first annual Area 51 Alienstock is now officially in the books. The gates have been stormed, the government has buckled, and every last alien has been freed. Fine, if you want to get technical, the only thing that’s true from what we just mentioned is the gate storming, and the only person to successfully do that? A 60-year-old woman from California. And it’s highly doubtful that she Naruto ran.

For those unfamiliar with the whole thing, the Storm Area 51 raid started as a joke on Facebook but soon ballooned into a 2 million strong attendee event. It fizzled out in the end, however, with only a few thousand people showing up. Among them were a mere 100 raiders, and the only person to get arrested was the aforementioned, yet-unidentified woman in her 60s.

Earlier last week, before things kicked off, two men had been arrested for trespassing as well after they attempted to storm the facility, so technically grandma makes three, but even her incident is about as boring as it gets. Lincoln County, Nevada sheriff Kerry Lee recounts the attempt as so:

“She told us she was going to trespass. It was something she wanted to do, and she walked across.”

Like the other two men, she now faces trespassing charges and a $1,000 fine. But oh, what a story to tell the grandkids. Hopefully she embellishes it just a little.

At least the potential for some excitement was there for a bit, as the U.S. military had to apologize for threatening to blow the raiders up, deleting a tweet showing a stealth bomber and a pretty clear “threat.” And in the same article about the Area 51 gate-storming granny, it was revealed that a man was missing for a while, but was eventually found unharmed. More to come on that later as the effects of the neuralyzer wear off.

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