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The Most Surprising Box Office Bombs Of 2013

It's quite difficult for a movie to totally bomb. Most movies, given a long enough timeframe, will make their money back. That timeframe differs from project to project - it might turn a profit at Christmas, or a year after the theatrical release, or after twenty years on DVD, but the high-stakes mega-budget mega-cast CGI extravaganzas that we get nowadays rarely fail, purely because of who's in them. How else do you explain the continued popularity of the Pirates of the Caribbean series? Two words - Johnny Depp. He very rarely bombs (Dark Shadows notwithstanding) purely because he is attractive and the budgets of the films he's usually in are huge.
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2) Parker

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Jason-Statham-Parker

Usually Jason Statham is a pretty solid bet for a good film and an even better box office take – Crank did really well, as did Crank 2, and his performance in The Transporter was something to behold. He’s managed to elevate the action film to arthouse levels, giving normally jaded critics something to crow about. He knows what he’s good at, and he sticks to it –  kicking people in the face, and taking his top off.

So, how did Parker fail? Well, an underwhelming “meh” of a film combined with box office poison Jennifer Lopez meant that it nosedived on release, taking $17 million against a $35 million budget. Not good. Not good at all. It actually looked promising from the trailer which, though slightly creepy, seemed to suggest a lot more than what eventually ended up in the movie – it consisted of Statham making Jennifer Lopez undress before him, ostensibly to check if she was wearing a wire, but actually so we’d get to see her in her underwear. Whatever your thoughts on a semi-nude Lopez, ultimately it just wasn’t enough to lure in the crowds, proving that sometimes you need more than booty and a bald headed maniac to sell your movie.


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Rob Batchelor
Male, Midlands, mid-twenties.