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9 Movies We’re Absolutely Dreading This Year

The average person gets to pick and choose their films. Critics, however, don’t have that luxury. Although, given the job description, many would concur that it’s a small price to pay. Any critic worth their salt walks into the cinema with an open mind, and emerges from the darkened room with a painfully honest assessment of their experience. Candidness is key to great criticism, and the brilliant writers of days gone by have previously rushed to support this theory. If you didn’t like a film that everybody else did – admit it.

6) The Emoji Movie

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Emojis have found themselves fully integrated into the online lexicon, but does that mean they merit their very own movie?

Sony and Columbia certainly seem to think so, and the joint production team have managed to sway a semi-stellar line-up to share their line of thought, too – TJ Miller (as expressive emoji), Ilana Glazer (as codebreaker emoji), James Corden (as hand emoji), Patrick Stewart (as poop emoji), Rob Riggle (as ice cream emoji), and Stifler’s Mom from American Pie (as the expressive emoji’s mother…).

The trailer was met with vitriol upon its release, proving we’re far from alone in our apprehension at seeing anthropomorphic emojis on a cinema screen. Admittedly, it was a teaser and not a full-length peek into what’s in store, but the public animosity being directed towards The Emoji Movie at present is deafening nonetheless.

We spend our days with our heads buried in smartphones, and the cinema offers a blissful – albeit temporary – escape into a new world, allowing us to lose ourselves in an experience. This probably goes a long way to explaining the backlash at The Emoji Movie. Emojis barging their way onto movie screens feels intrusive, and the supposed plot involving the characters bouncing around between apps suggests we could be in for a bucket-load of shameless product placement. Few are eager to welcome emojis to cinema, and Tony Leondis’ feature will have to be damn good film to win people over.

The outlook for The Emoji Movie is, for the time being, an immeasurably long line of smiley brown swirls. We can’t say we’re looking forward to it.

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