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Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: Which Celebrities Would You Ride The Rapture Out With?

Did you honestly think Remy and I could watch This Is The End without drafting our own dream team of celebrities to ride out the rapture with? With such an awesome concept and equally awesome execution, Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg's apocalyptic comedy shows a bunch of celebrities attempting to survive the rapture in James Franco's fortress of a house, and while their ensemble cast was an absolute comedic supergroup, Remy and I just had to put our own spin on the whole "celebrities caught in the rapture" scenario.
This article is over 11 years old and may contain outdated information

Remy: Taylor Swift

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Okay, I know I’m vulgar sometimes, but that’s the thing – I am vulgar, sometimes. So in knowing that, turn around now if you are easily offended, because this is some end of the world shit, and we pull no punches during the end of the world.

So when I think end times, I think about two things, sex and death. Well, actually, I think about those two things all the f*cking time, not necessarily connected, but I digress. So in thinking of sex, and repopulating the world, you want a woman who you find attractive, you know has good genes, and has qualities she can pass to her children that would make the world a better place. You weigh all the positives against the, aw, who the fuck am I kidding – she’s a breeder. We fill her full of babies.

Now I can feel the collective eyelashes of the women of the world upturning in disgust at the sexism dripping from that statement, but that is not how I think in real life. I do not put babies in women, so relax. But these are the f*cking end times, I think finding a pretty lady and putting seeds into her fertile soil is totally justified.

*Nato shakes head*


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Matt Donato
A drinking critic with a movie problem. Foodie. Meatballer. Horror Enthusiast.