Nazis, Cheap Thrills, And Big Bad Wolves: The 13 Best Horror Movies Of 2014

9) Tusk

Listen, I understand that there are a ton of Kevin Smith haters out there, complaining about a talkative delivery and egotistical filmmaking, but hot damn, where did this hatred come from? I understand if you didn’t like Clerks, and found Smith’s filmmaking unfavorable from the beginning, but Tusk is everything you’ve come to expect from the vulgar mumblecorian, with the addition of a hilarious walrus suit. Tusk is the kind of movie everyone hypes up before release, spreading the mystery of a batshit insane story, but Smith’s ability to deliver on the promise was unmatched this year. You want a walrus torture porn flick? Here’s your movie.

I was worried that Tusk would be all buildup and no payoff (because how do you go full walrus for so long?), but Smith throws Justin Long in the walrus suit early and never backs away from the situation. When you promise something so jaw-dropping, there has to be a commitment to utter insanity – which this Canadian “creature feature” embraces wholeheartedly. Michael Parks proves once again how he’s a tremendously commanding talent, I actually enjoyed Long’s commentary on the podcaster lifestyle of today, and (in my opionion) Smith writes a satrical bit of cinema worth its weight in stinky raw fish.

And whatever, I’ll even say it – in small doses, Johnny Depp’s character is quite amusing. Again though, just read the verdict from my original review of the film, it says it all:

Tusk is a fearless, ambitious, and hilariously unnerving “horror” film that only Kevin Smith could imagine, walrus suit and all.