People are irrevocably horny for Miles Teller after ‘Top Gun: Maverick’

Image: Paramount

Top Gun: Maverick has flown into cinemas, picking up plenty of positive reviews from critics and audiences along the way, but people are acting unwise after locking their eyes upon star Miles Teller.

While he’s been around for over a decade, with appearances in critically acclaimed movies like The Spectacular Now and Whiplash, alongside roles in several notable duds like 2015’s ill-fated Fantastic Four reboot and the middling Divergent series. But, much like the Terminator, he’s back.

Starring as the mustachioed pilot Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw in Maverick, he’s ignited a whole section of the internet, who can barely contain their thirst. Sometimes all a man needs to be appealing really is just a mustache. And a six-pack. Also, being a Hollywood star helps.

The ideal male form does exist, people, and it’s whatever Teller is doing in Top Gun.

It’s a refreshing change of pace, but there’s a long way to go before Teller hits the “daddy areas” that Oscar Isaac and Pedro Pascal so valiantly top.

Different strokes for different folks, however, and some are not even slightly buying into the Teller rebrand.

The internet loves being down bad, though. Just a few weeks ago it was She-Hulk who had the internet in the palms of her giant green hands. Slight change of pace that today’s thirst target isn’t green, for better or worse.

Top Gun: Maverick is currently in theaters, and has secured an impressive start to its box office run, grossing $248 million globally through its opening weekend.