Stephen King Shows Us How It Would Look During The Coronavirus Pandemic

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Ever wondered what a coronavirus-era It movie might have looked like? Well, if you have, it might have looked something like this:

That’s Stephen King, author of the novel It, with his addition to the coronavirus toilet paper meme. And in this age of quarantine-induced isolation, one might wonder how Pennywise the Dancing Clown would fair.

In the UK (where I’m writing this from, hello), people are only allowed outside once a day for exercise or for essential shopping needs. Schools are shut, and you’re unlikely to see any kids playing in the yard unsupervised. Perhaps King’s bog roll ploy would be Pennywise’s salvation?

In any case, it makes sense that this joke comes from a couple weeks ago, which was the height of the toilet paper panic buying spree. Now, everyone’s settled into a steady but (one suspects) increasingly fraught game of sit and wait.

Here’s another thought while we’re at it, though (I’ve got time to fill): Stephen King can count himself among the least affected by the pandemic. Writers can write from anywhere. At least there’s one profession undisrupted in all of this. King is a fortunate man. Aside from being in one of virus’ at-risk demographics, that is.

If you can think of a gag related to this one in the comments, please do post it below. You’re not going to have the visual aspect available to you, so how feasible this request is I’m not sure. I’m open to surprises though. And no, watching It and It: Chapter Two are not on my list of quarantine activities to do. Those are supposed to induce a feeling of calm, not terror. And those two films would certainly make me feel the latter.

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