The Top 10 Horror Films Of 2012

2) Detention

Director: Joseph Kahn

Alright, another pick I’ll catch a lot of flak for, but you’re either going to love Joseph Kahn’s comedy/horror/sci-fi 90’s decade trashing artistic wonder, or hate a convoluted mess of hyper-ADD inspired filmmaking with the power of 1,000 suns. Since this is my Top 10 horror list, I think you know where I stand with Detention and Joseph Kahn, despite remembering he was the man responsible for Torque.

Welcome to Grizzly Lake High School, your typical clique ridden battleground with jocks, punks, goths, nerds, and a slasher named Cinderhella? Yup, as if high school wasn’t hard enough for slacker extraordinaire Clapton Davis (Josh Hutcherson) and the invisible Riley Jones (Shanley Caswell), a horror movie killer comes to life and starts axing students off at random. What follows is a mind-melt of insanely chaotic yet enjoyable editing, time travel, horror kills, quick-fire pun usage, a hilarious take on teen life, and a very unique grizzly bear. There’s a ton to process and it holds more gravity for younger viewers, but there’s no denying Kahn created something strangely entertaining with unmatched ambition. But, yes, even Cabin In The Woods made more sense than Detention.

1) The Cabin In The Woods

Director: Drew Goddard

Bow down to your master, recent horror films.

We’ve seen numerous amazing horror entries over the last ten years or so, movies like The Descent, blah blah blah, you’ve heard the list before. But no film, and I mean NO film, has intelligently roasted my favorite genre while simultaneously delivering one of the greatest, incredibly climatic, instantly iconic, and absolutely show-stopping endings a fan could ask for.

Now, I know a lot of horror fans are saying Whedon and Goddard’s brainchild shouldn’t be categorized in the genre because it’s not particularly scary, but how do you NOT consider a film “horror” when it deconstructs every facet and quirk of the entire genre, both satirically and brilliantly playing with clichès? But on a more basic sense, how do you not consider a film horror with multiple death scenes, zombies, copious amounts of gore, and monsters galore?

The Cabin In The Woods stands as a crowning achievement in horror considering its horror writing is equivalent in quality to a Shakespearian epic, and deserves a tremendous amount more recognition than it already has. I know a horror film will never get recognized at the Oscars in this way, but how about a nomination for Best Screenplay?  I’d make an argument any day for that push. Just look at Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford alone. Their two characters are scripted masterfully and both actors thrive in such a silly scenario, but perfection is achieved easily because of ingenious writing. Then you open up this debate to the entire script, pointing out every nuance and reference, and boy, there’s just too much awesome to swallow.

The Cabin In The Woods made going to the movies fun in 2012, easily beating the competition for my number one spot. You can argue you weren’t scared, but you can’t deny Goddard’s beautiful homage to horror…making it a horror film.