Hollywood loves an established property, and many producers see remakes as easy money. While everything else may be fair game, there are some that are untouchable.
One of the tried-and-true facts of the film industry is a simple one: go with what works. Experimenting with something new and different is a risky endeavor. There’s no guarantee the public will buy into a concept without an established fan base. With hundreds of millions of dollars at stake, it’s understandable why Hollywood producers churn out watered-down sequels and spinoffs like a factory, yet they shy away from more original ideas. Thus we get the formula for the polarizing reboots.
Remakes and reboots are far from new concepts, and they can be hit or miss. The idea is simple enough: take a beloved classic, update it for the current times, add some modern stars, and you’re in business. When it works, it can outdo the original, such in the cases of The Thing (1982), Scarface (1983), or A Star Is Born (which actually pulled the hattrick with three well-received remakes in 1954, 1976, and 2018). More often than not, the revisions don’t sit well with audiences, and we’re left with the likes of Ghostbusters (2016), Godzilla (1998), and Point Break (2015).
With so many misses over the decades, it’s no wonder that passionate fan bases bristle at the mere suggestion of remaking their favorite films. While no property is truly off limits, there are certain movies and franchises that even the hint of remaking would trigger a tsunami of fan backlash.
Star Wars
Can we start with anything else?
You can argue that Star Wars has been watered down over the past 23 years. After a 16-year wait between Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace, fans of the original trilogy were let down by the three prequel movies that rewrote Star Wars lore. Then came the age of Disney and some of the most divisive entries into the mythos. With so many miscues and changes to the original story, wouldn’t a reboot make sense? Only if you want to see riots (in full cosplay, no less).
With the House of Mouse holding the reins, a remake isn’t out of the question. Far from perfect movies, the original trilogy of Star Wars movies are beloved by generations of fans. Add to the story all you want, Disney, but the fallout from a full-scale reboot would be deafening.
Indiana Jones
Another George Lucas entry on today’s list, Indiana Jones has been the subject of many reboot rumors in recent years. Only a year ago, there was gossip that Chris Pratt would take over the role from Harrison Ford. It was not received well.
Judging by the Indiana Jones films of the 21st century, it would seem Ford is ready to hand over his trademark whip and fedora. Although fans may try to purge it from their memories, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull teased handing the franchise to Shia LaBeouf, who played Dr. Jones’ son, Mutt. After that movie flopped, talk of the Pratt-led reboot surfaced before Ford signed on for yet another Indiana Jones movie. At 78 years old, this is likely Ford’s swan song in the role, and the gossip is that he’ll turn things over to writer/actress Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Of course, shifting to more or less a spinoff franchise isn’t the same as a full reboot, which fans would completely reject at this point.
Jaws
The film that launched one of the most prolific careers in cinematic history, Steven Spielberg’s 1975 classic is widely considered a perfect film. Certainly, the effects are dated, and the great white, affectionately nicknamed “Bruce” by the cast and crew, gets less scary with each decade. That’s the beauty in Spielberg’s directorial choices. Because Bruce the animatronic shark was constantly down, the famed director had to improvise many of the shark scenes in order to keep the production on schedule. Since we don’t see Bruce that often, it adds to the plot’s mysterious nature and prevents the film from feeling too dated.
Besides a great story, what really makes this film so great is the cast. Completely reimagining this film with anyone but Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, and Robert Shaw in the lead roles would be blasphemy.
There’s no doubt that plenty of filmmakers would love to get their hands on Jaws and make the entire production fully digital. That would be a terrible idea. In a modern age where filmmakers rely much too heavily on sound stages and green screens, Jaws’ locations help keep it timeless. Take that away, and it’s just another movie. Of course, the real magic lies in Spielberg’s improvised moments. There’s no replicating his creativity, and anything else would fall short.
Now the three sequels, those are fair game. Let’s face it, they can’t get much worse.
The Wizard of Oz
There have been countless takes on L. Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. While filmmakers will forever put their own spins on the tale, the first adaptation can’t be replicated. There’s no question that 1939’s The Wizard of Oz remains one of the single most famous movies ever made. After 83 years, the film has reached legendary status. It was the first movie ever made in Technicolor, and its special effects were revolutionary for the time. The songs are classics that are embraced by each new generation, and Judy Garland is simply irreplaceable as Dorothy.
Of course, there’s a dark side to The Wizard of Oz, and its behind-the-scenes tales of inhumane costumes that scarred the actors, and allegations that cover everything from exhausting 16-hour workdays and physical abuse to studio-mandated amphetamine use. Oz’s horrific tales cast away the rose-colored glasses that had traditionally been put on cinema’s Golden Age, but it only makes the film’s legend grow that much more.
The Godfather and The Godfather Part II
Hailed for decades as two of the greatest cinematic masterpieces ever filmed, The Godfather and The Godfather Part II continue to impact future generations of filmmakers. While the movies may not be a truly realistic portrayal of life in La Cosa Nostra, its immense influence on every Scilian mafia movie or show made afterwards is undeniable. It’s also among the most quotable movies of all time. “Make him an offer he can’t refuse.” “Leave the gun, take the cannoli.” “My boy. Look what they did to my beautiful boy.” As near perfect as The Godfather is, Part II managed to exceed the original in several ways, making these two of the most beloved movies ever made. Then there’s The Godfather Part III, which is a different story…
The Lord of the Rings
There’s no narrowing down the LOTR trilogy to one movie that shines above the others. Like the acclaimed novels by J.R.R. Tolkien, the three films tell one sweeping tale. In essence, they combine into a single, massive film, which is how Tolkien intended the books to be viewed as well. In fact, he was against splitting them into three separate stories, but I digress.
From the casting choices and screenwriting to the breathtaking cinematography and stunning costume designs, these are considered the greatest fantasy movies ever made. It is a beautiful story told from a loving perspective that can never be replicated.
Some Like It Hot
It’s been 60 years since Marilyn Monroe’s death, and the quintessential blonde bombshell continues to live on as an American icon. This year’s Blonde is one of many films about the Golden Age starlet that furthers the evergreen fascination with her life. While you may get by with recreating many of her roles, there’s no touching arguably her most acclaimed film, Some Like It Hot.
Although this may not be the first movie you think of as far as all-time classics, Some Like It Hot has a significant place in cinema history. Released in 1959, while Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis may have had top billing, Monroe stole the show and further established herself as a cultural icon. The film was nominated for six Academy Awards, and it’s embraced as one of the greatest movies ever made. In fact, it was added to the Library of Congress’ first 25 selections of films preserved in the National Film Registry for cultural, historical, or aesthetical significance.
Toy Story
This is one of the newer entries on the list, but Toy Story has already become a modern classic. Besides the perfect voice casting and a story with heartfelt themes of growing up and letting go, the franchise also established Pixar as the premiere animation studio in the world. Toy Story 3’s Best Picture nomination in 2018 was a testament to the absolute masterful works of art Pixar has been creating for decades handily masked as kids’ movies. The same can be said for all the Toy Story entries, at least those from the core franchise.
Rocky
Want to start a riot? Try suggesting that anyone aside from Sylvester Stallone play Rocky Balboa. This was the movie that established Stallone as an American icon and perseveres as the ultimate underdog story complete with an emotionally stirring soundtrack. The real testament to Rocky is the story of the character’s statue.
One of the most popular moments of the 1976 film saw the hero finally conquer his morning run up the Philadelphia Museum of Art’s steps, marking a personal victory on his way to the movie’s climax. As part of Rocky III, a statue was erected at those same steps, which Stallone donated to the city after filming was completed. Fans flocked to the museum to run the steps and take pictures with the statue. Eventually, the statue was moved to the Philadelphia Spectrum, and there was considerable backlash.
If moving what is essentially a movie prop gets that kind of reaction, imagine the fallout from remaking Rocky with a new cast. The closest we will ever come is the Creed spinoff series with Michael B. Jordan, which happens to feature characters from the original franchise, most notably Stallone.
The Matrix
Is any of this real or are we living in a simulation of reality? You can thank The Matrix for bringing Simulation Theory back to the forefront for 23 years now.
Maybe the rest of the films in the franchise were a letdown. Maybe the original is full of plot holes and cliches, but The Matrix was revolutionary for its time. The plot was a mind-bending trip that made audiences question their own realities. It left an impact on pop culture that is still felt to this day. The other movies in the franchise are fair game for remakes (in fact, they could definitely use some sprucing up), but fans will have none of The Matrix being reimagined.
Published: Oct 4, 2022 05:50 pm