Woman says she requested husband to give up a habit he picked up 6 months ago. But he allegedly wants her to ‘hold her breath’ and suffer

A woman says she is struggling with her husband of almost 13 years after he started wearing cologne that appears to trigger her longtime allergies. The situation reached a breaking point when she tried to hug him before work and had to pull back from the scent. He reportedly replied, “Hold your breath if you want to hug me,” according to her Reddit post by u/AnnieMarie1980 in r/AmItheAsshole.

According to the woman, the conflict began about six months ago, when her husband started wearing cologne after his brother encouraged the habit. The wife explained that she has dealt with allergies to perfume, cologne, air fresheners, and candles for most of her life. She said her physical reaction to these products is not new, as it existed long before they married.

Dealing with the headaches appears to be a constant struggle for her, and she finds his refusal to stop wearing the cologne deeply disrespectful. According to the woman, she has tried to address the issue by asking nicely, begging, and even crying. Despite her clear communication about how ill the scents make her feel, he reportedly continues to buy and apply them.

Most commenters seem to think he is the one in the wrong

He apparently keeps switching between different colognes, and she claims to dislike the smell of almost every one he chooses. She also said he often applies too much of the product. As a result, the scent apparently lingers long enough that even a quick hug could set off another headache.

According to the woman, she remains confused about why the habit seems to matter more to him than her health. She compares it to clothing she dislikes or a bad haircut. However, she argued that neither of those makes her physically ill.

Many commenters seemed to side with the wife, as several took issue with the husband’s response. One person argued that the real issue is his apparent disregard for her health, not the perfume itself, calling it a massive red flag. Another said he seems to be dismissing her health over cologne.

A third commenter suggested he may be wearing the cologne on purpose, as he knows she dislikes it. The same person speculated that he could be wearing it for someone else. However, the wife said she does not think another woman is involved, at least she hopes not.

Similar complaints about spouses making one-sided choices have surfaced online before. One woman recently said her husband gave his mother her craft room without asking her first. Another poster claimed their fiancé lent his brother $3,000 from their wedding savings and repaid only $50 at first.