‘A tribal tattoo to represent her Scank tribe?’: Lauren Boebert flaunts the thorny body tattoo and bikini absolutely no one asked for

Congress, a body of government once populated by respectable and intelligent statesmen, is increasingly becoming overrun by the obnoxious, white trash weasels that seem to be our new political norm. 

Coming in just two steps behind the bad built bleach blonde herself is Lauren Boebert, who seems to be reinforcing her status among the worst people you’ve ever met on a daily basis. The gun-toting dipstick in lipstick has been carpetbagging her way across Colorado for months now, sussing out the easiest seat to lengthen her infiltration of the U.S. government, but it’s not her politics currently taking center stage. 

As her hedonistic hero, Donald Trump, shatters the web and every available mirror with claims that he’s “better looking” than Kamala Harris, Boebert’s getting in on the far-right beauty contest as well. She may not boast Donny’s sagging skin, sallow look, or puckered sphincter of a mouth, but it seems Boebert still has what it takes to be a Republican ravisher. 

That was underlined by Ginger Gaetz, the forehead-blind woman married to Matt Gaetz, when she posted an image of a bared-skin Boebert flashing the official stamp of the douchebag plastered across her entire right side. The obnoxious tribal tattoo that decorates so many mid-90s frat bros looks perfectly at home on the professional woo girl, scalding eyes across the nation as we lay unwilling witness to yet another bad Boebert decision. 

Gaetz has been on a beach pic kick of late, seemingly in an effort to highlight the most attractive representatives the right has to offer. Its a strange decision, focusing in on looks over legislation, but it also makes quite a bit of sense. Boebert and her ilk aren’t really politicians anyway — they’re bullish mean girls looking for the biggest stage possible. Politics provides them with that stage, from which they can flounce, flaunt, and flounder their way through brainless attempts at relevance.

Since she can’t actually do her job, instead snatching headlines by groping people, vaping, and parenting criminals, it makes perfect sense for Boebert’s latest attention-grabbing stunt to rely on nothing but superficiality to get votes. No one’s going to vote for Beetlejuice Boebert anyway — might as well try to rebrand and see if bared skin does the trick instead.