Since intellect is not really on the table for him, Robert F. Kennedy has whipped out the age card to bring down his competitors in the presidential election: Donald Trump and Joe Biden.
At 70, Junior claims that he is both physically and mentally fitter than the duo who are 77 and 81, respectively. Alas, if only the worm in Rob’s head also got the memo.
After boldly copying Donald Trump’s copyright-claimed MO (inducing his wrath in the process) and still failing to garner the same blind and brainwashed support the former president astonishingly continues to enjoy, the famous John F. Kennedy’s ill-famed nephew has resorted to flaunting how physically fit he is with everything from videos of skiing and lackluster clips of him lifting weights to doing push-ups shirtless and ⏤ wait for it ⏤ preparing for his debates with Biden.
Apparently Kennedy here means to convey that he is not just sharp as a tack, but also ready to replace the definition in the Oxford dictionary ⏤ which is impossible to believe since, in a moment of candor over a decade ago, he shared how a worm reached his brain, ate a portion of it, and gave him a long list of debilitating health issues before kicking the bucket.
Yep, the New York Times has obtained a 2012 deposition of Junior wherein he made the above-mentioned bizarre claim during his divorce proceedings with his second wife, Mary Richardson Kennedy. The reason? To prove that his earning potential has taken a hit because of his many, many health issues.
“I have cognitive problems, clearly. I have short-term memory loss, and I have longer-term memory loss that affects me.”
He narrated how he was initially diagnosed with a brain tumor and even had surgery scheduled, only for a doctor at New York-Presbyterian Hospital to inform him that the issues were actually the result of “a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died.” After suggesting that his trip to South Asia might have been the culprit behind his contracting the said parasite, he added that he also suffered from mercury poisoning since he used to eat too many tuna fish sandwiches. The latter gave him “severe brain fog” and difficulty in remembering words.
In addition to the above neurological problems and his voice disorder, Kennedy also had atrial fibrillation, an abnormality that ups the risk of stroke or heart failure and he has been hospitalized multiple times because of the condition. As reported by the Times, he claims that the condition has “disappeared” by itself, just like the severe health issues the parasite munching on his brain caused ⏤ gone, without any treatment. Miraculous.
But just like their candidate, those working for the Kennedy campaign are not worried about his health issues undermining his fitness. As Stefanie Spear, a spokeswoman for the campaign, remarked, “That is a hilarious suggestion, given the competition.” The competition, of course, being a man who poops his pants in court and another whose dog was recently threatened by a puppy-killing psychopath.
