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Enraged pardon recipient Marjorie Taylor Greene wreaks vocal havoc after Dictator Trump is deemed a citizen

Once again, the time has come for social media users to Greene and bear it.

Vocal patriot and objectively silly dumpling Marjorie Taylor Greene brings up a pretty good point in her February 6 Twitter video. The post features a speech given by Greene which, as is often the case with oration from the Georgia congresswoman, feels like it’s missing something without the words “actor announcement” at the top. Greene took to the microphone to discuss her dismay at the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit’s decision that former one-term president Donald Trump was not immune from federal prosecution in a criminal case accusing him of attempting to overthrow the 2020 election, despite the fact that he is both very smart and finished all of his apple juice.

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“(…) any executive immunity that may have protected him while he served as President no longer protects him against this prosecution,” the court panel stated, making sure to also point out that “former President Trump has become citizen Trump, with all of the defenses of any other criminal defendant.”

Why is Marjorie Taylor Greene screaming, and when did she ask to be pardoned again?

Greene, who has previously described herself as “a victim of the January 6 riot as any other member of Congress” and who has never been seen in the same room as either of the Wayans Brothers’ characters from White Chicks (just saying), did not cotton to this decision. That brings us, begrudgingly, to the really good point that she made in her speech: “Not one single person has been charged with insurrection,” she states in the video. “Not one single person has been convicted with insurrection. Not one. In every single court of our land, no one’s been charged and convicted with insurrection.”

The argument she’s making is clear, even without listening to the rest of her four-minute speech in which she brings the energy and finger-waggingness of a recently divorced substitute junior high teacher to bear against ingrates who “have freedom of press, one of the greatest rights in this entire world.” Her point is that, how can America charge Donald Trump with insurrection? Nobody else involved with the events of January 6 has been convicted of insurrection. Nobody else involved with the events of January 6 has even been charged with insurrection.

Maybe, but they have been charged with other stuff. A group of five members of the Proud Boys, for example, including chairman Henry “Enrique” Tarrio, is currently serving a combined 82-year sentence for seditious conspiracy thanks to their involvement in January 6. They’re not alone, either – the Department of Justice lists 1,148 people “charged in federal court in the District of Columbia related to crimes committed at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C, on Wednesday, Jan. 6, 2021,” with Newsweek calculating that just shy of two-thirds of those who have already faced trial have been handed prison sentences. Charges run the gamut from assaulting a federal officer to obstructing an official proceeding, which is enough to make those rumors of Greene requesting a pardon a year into her tenure seem, gosh, borderline understandable. Her friends and followers – and, by extension, Trump – were found guilty of a lot.

But not insurrection. It’s an airtight argument. “If your friends aren’t charged with insurrection, then your defense is utter perfection.” That’s what Cochran always said. Nice work as always, MTG. Now say it with me: “citizen.”


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Author
Tom Meisfjord
Tom is an entertainment writer with five years of experience in the industry, and thirty more years of experience outside of it. His fields of expertise include superheroes, classic horror, and most franchises with the word "Star" in the title. An occasionally award-winning comedian, he resides in the Pacific Northwest with his dog, a small mutt with impulse control issues.