Georgian Grinch Marjorie Taylor Greene proves she’s no Dr. Seuss while trying her hand at death and murder poetry

On days when it’s wet and the sun is not sunny, it’s hard to have lots of good fun that is funny. On those occasions, you might find yourself doomscrolling on X (formerly Twitter) only to come across yet another tirade of offensive inanity from Georgia’s very own answer to the Grinch, Marjorie Taylor Greene.

At least on this occasion, MTG has endeavored to lighten the mood of her endless gasbaggery about how liberals are bringing about the destruction of America by turning her latest tempestuous tweet into a vague attempt at poetry, that reads a bit like something an AI might come up with if it was force-fed a strict diet of nothing but Dr. Seuss and Truth Social posts.

“No money for Ukraine!!! The American people demand a peace deal between Ukraine and Russia!!!” Marjorie decreed, like a far-right version of the bossy fish from Cat in the Hat who tells the kids not to be about when their mother is out. “No more death, no more murder!!! Defend America’s border!!!” she concluded, with a poor near-rhyme that she was probably incredibly proud of.

“Pathetic” is one word used to describe the woman who makes Mike Myers in uncanny cat fur look adorable. Another one? “Dummy.” Blasting Marjorie’s claims that a “peace deal” could be made between the two countries, one user responded: “Would you give your bathroom to someone who broke into your house as an offer of peace?”

With tweets like this, Marjorie is only convincing X that she has finally lost all trace of loyalty to the United States, earning her the nickname “Moscow Marge” and leaving some to label her “a full-blown traitor.”

From turning against her allies, implying Democrats are taking a hit out on Donald Trump to taking hypocrisy to a hitherto unseen level in human history, Marjorie certainly does seem to be growing more and more radicalized with each passing week, which is saying something for someone who has believed in Jewish Space Lasers for years. Can we get an X-ray of this woman, please, because her heart may actually be three sizes too small.

Of course, Marj is just Thing One to Trump’s Cat in the MAGA Hat (Who’s Thing Two? Maybe Lauren Boebert). So ideally we’d just be ignoring her terminal whining and focus on the real story, which is the human equivalent of green eggs and ham beginning his criminal trial. And yet MTG just makes it so hard to leave her be when she routinely posts enough bile to curdle even little Cindy-Lou’s forgiving spirit.

You’re a mean one, Ms. Taylor Greene.