‘I thought this was a parody account’: Confirming she is still as ‘dumb’ as she was 5 years ago, Lauren Boebert wails for saving guns

If you’ve been following the dumpster fire that is Lauren Boebert‘s life (seriously, why are you subjecting yourself to that? Ew!), you know she’s had a string of spectacularly disastrous years.

Just six short months ago, in February 2024, Lauren’s spawn Tyler Boebert was caught red-handed by the Rifle Police, allegedly breaking into cars, swiping wallets, and indulging in extravagant feasts with those stolen credit cards. A year and a half before that, in January 2023, Jayson Boebert claimed his wife used his face as a punching bag. Spin back the clock a bit more to 2022, and there she is, being booted out from a Beetlejuice musical performance venue after getting uncomfortably handsy with a date. And who could possibly erase from their minds the memorable 2020, when, after a grueling four attempts, Lauren finally clinched her GED diploma?

Despite all this jaw-dropping mayhem, Lauren remains… well, the same old Lauren. It’s no wonder she got eviscerated like a hapless turkey on Thanksgiving during her debate with Trisha Calvarese who challenged her to a debate at the now-infamous Beetlejuice theater. With her personal life in disarray and her political career following suit, what’s left for Lauren but to toss out bombastic statements, hoping to strike a chord with her base?

Recalling past glories, Boebert recently tweeted:

She even attached a video montage of her confronting Beto O’Rourke. The video clip shows O’Rourke, fueled by a desperate need to address the epidemic of mass shootings, asserting, “Hell yes, we’re going to take your AR-15, your AK-47.” Beto is a politician from Texas who has served as a U.S. Representative and has run for both the U.S. Senate and the presidency in 2020. Beto’s now-infamous declaration was in response to a string of horrific mass shootings that left countless families shattered and communities reeling.

Just before O’Rourke’s campaign, a gunman killed 23 people in a racially motivated attack at a Walmart in El Paso, Texas. The heart-rending Parkland shooting a year before ripped away the futures of 17 students and dedicated staff members in a senseless act of violence at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. Similarly, the blood-curdling Las Vegas shooting in October 2017 left 58 unsuspecting concertgoers ruthlessly mowed down in a hail of bullets. And let’s not neglect the faith-shattering Sutherland Springs church shooting in November 2017, where 26 devoted worshippers were mercilessly gunned down as they sought solace in their place of worship.

In September 2019, Beto reached his breaking point and made his impassioned declaration about seizing assault rifles. That’s when Lauren, in all her infinite wisdom, confronted him at a town hall meeting in Aurora, Colorado, brazenly declaring, “I am here to say: Hell no, you’re not taking away our guns.”

Boebert. Boebert. Boebert (if only saying her name thrice would make her political antics vanish—sorry, wrong Beetlejuice magic). Nobody is coming for your beloved boom-sticks. But they might want to have a chat with your bestie about her “bad-built butch body” gun that she likes to use for target practice on random cars. Even Kamala Harris, the current Democratic presidential candidate, has openly admitted to owning a gun. During a CNN town hall in April 2019, while she was campaigning for the Democratic nomination for President, Harris described herself as a gun owner, asserting her support for the Second Amendment while also advocating for smart gun safety laws.

The issue at hand isn’t about disarming every red-blooded American. It’s about implementing common-sense gun laws to prevent weapons of war from falling into the hands of unhinged individuals. Because let’s face it, no one needs a military-grade assault rifle to take down Bambi or protect their studio apartment.

But Lauren just can’t seem to wrap her head around this simple concept or the fact that communities have a role to play in nurturing children. She’s too busy flaunting her edgy, thorny body tattoo and making an absolute mockery of herself. So, Lauren, maybe it’s time to stop tweeting from court, put the AR-15 down, and pick up a book!