‘It’s the eyeliner that does it for me’: JD Vance without facial hair is giving ‘lock up your bike, Pee-Wee’ vibes and people are snorting

JD Vance’s journey as Donald Trump’s running mate has been marked by multiple setbacks, from resurfaced quotes about cat ladies to, perhaps most bizarrely, stories involving intimate relations with a couch.

The attention Vance is receiving shows no signs of slowing down, with eyes now pointed firmly at resurfaced photos of the Ohio Senator’s beardless face. For context, Vance’s beard was the subject of much chatter when he first joined the Trump ticket in July, since he was the first major party nominee to sport facial hair in 75 years.

Of course, with the internet being what it is, it wasn’t long before social media uncovered old pictures of Vance without a beard, and their reaction has been less than complimentary. In response to an image of a beardless Vance currently doing the rounds on X, users have almost uniformly agreed that the naked-faced politician bears a striking resemblance to the antagonist in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. “Vance without his beard looks like he’s about to steal Pee-Wee’s bike,” one X user wrote in reference to the 1985 film. 

People flocked to the replies in agreement, with some users sharing a GIF of the character — named Francis Buxton and played by Mark Holton — which admittedly does look like Vance. One person even used AI to superimpose Vance’s face onto the character, though we didn’t exactly need these editing tricks to see the similarities.

While Vance’s beardless face caught the most attention, it wasn’t long before the viral post attracted spinoff memes. Pee-wee was brought into the fray yet again, as images of his couch, which is named Chairry and appeared throughout the television series, were shared as a callback to those Vance rumors. Naturally, users edited images of Vance looking extremely happy while sitting on the Pee-wee couch, which would probably be the case if all that speculation is to be believed. 

While the Pee-Wee tie-ins might’ve been enough to sustain a hilarious X feed, reactions to the beardless Vance have also made note of his eyes. It has long been speculated that Vance wears eyeliner, apparently even when he didn’t have a beard. “It’s the eyeliner that does it for me”, one user wrote in response to the Vance photo, with another adding that his dark eyelids appear to be “tattooed on.” 

Of course, it’s not the first time Vance has caught the imagination of social media meme-makers, who have in recent weeks compared him to Kermit The Frog, a head of lettuce, and a racist care bear, all while predicting that he may become a landing zone for a rogue fly like his predecessor Mike Pence. 

What all of it amounts to is a politician who just can’t seem to catch a break, and social media is loving every second of it.