Somehow, Elon Musk losing $22 billion is not the worst thing that just happened to him after crippling Starlink snub

Elon Musk just had a week start so bad it could qualify as performance art. Tesla tanked, X broke, and he managed to lose billions and a billionaire bromance in one go. For a “genius,” he’s really out here speedrunning corporate self-destruction.

The Starlink snub heard ’round the world came courtesy of Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim, who decided he’d rather flush $22 billion down the toilet on his own telecom infrastructure than hitch his wagon to Musk’s rickety space junk. Can’t blame the guy, really. Starlink had been at the center of controversy due to the Federal Communications Commission’s (FCC) decision to revoke nearly $900 million in rural broadband subsidies that were initially awarded to the satellite internet service. The FCC stated that Starlink “failed to demonstrate that it could deliver the promised service.”

Now, reports suggest tensions between the two billionaires escalated after Musk tweeted an offhand implication that Slim had ties to organized crime. Slim has reportedly pulled the plug on all Starlink collaborations across Latin America, effectively cutting Musk off from a 25-country market and yeeting his five-year Starlink projects straight into the eager arms of European and Chinese competitors.

Musk’s little temper tantrum just cost the U.S. even more commercial clout in the region. Slow clap for the genius over here. And while a $22 billion loss might seem pretty bad, the real kicker is that it actually wasn’t even the worst news Musk got this week. On Sunday, Musk woke up with a net worth of around $330 billion. By Monday evening, his fortune had faceplanted to $301 billion. That’s a $29 billion evaporated in a single day, folks.

Musk’s personal piggy bank is notoriously tied to Tesla. The car company had one of its worst trading days in years. Shares plummeted by over 15%, marking the company’s worst performance since September 2020. By the time the markets mercifully put us out of our misery, Tesla’s market cap had shriveled by nearly $90 billion. It has now racked up seven consecutive weeks of stock losses — not seen since the company went public in 2010.

Turns out, investors aren’t too thrilled about Musk’s new role as the “First Buddy” to the President. Over the past year, Musk has picked unnecessary fights in Brazil, annoyed officials in Germany, ruffled feathers in the U.K., and of course, become a regular headache in American politics. Most ridiculously, Musk is now “efficiency czar” through his made-up Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE (get it?). But politics is a dangerous game, especially for a billionaire whose businesses depend on not anlienating every human on Earth.

Let’s remember that hubris has been the downfall of many a tech titan. And if there’s one thing Musk has in spades, it’s an ego so bloated it could float his Starship (you know, the one currently redefining “rapid unscheduled disassembly” as a very expensive fireworks display). This week might be the beginning of the end for Musk’s golden boy era — and honestly, it couldn’t happen to a more deserving megalomaniac.