There are few harder jobs in the world than being Donald Trump’s lawyer.
Aside from the very real prospect he’ll try to con you out of payment, he also continues to be the embodiment of the phrase: “it’s better to stay quiet and have everyone think you’re a fool, rather than open your mouth and confirm it.” As you can guess, this isn’t ideal in a courtroom setting.
The notorious friend of child sex traffickers, Trump has spent the last year or so being scalded by various judges up and down the country. He may be a notoriously prolific (and bad) liar, but he’s showing real consistency when it comes to getting in trouble in the courtroom for being unable to keep quiet.
His most recent scolding came in his newest defamation trial. These charges are being brought by E. Jean Carroll, a writer who last year won a $5 million settlement from the former reality television host. This particular trial is to set a new amount that Trump will have to pay, with potential damages reaching up to $10 million.
Anybody who’s ever dealt with an overstimulated, over-emotional child will find Trump’s courtroom demeanor familiar. Bristling with righteous indignation, the poster child for adult incontinence was called out by Carroll’s lawyers for muttering loudly during his accuser’s testimony. It was alleged by her legal team that the jury could hear him, which is a big no-no in a court.
When the judge told Trump that his bad behavior could lead to him being banned from attending the rest of the trial, the former president reacted like a brat being told he would have to go to time out if he didn’t play nice. According to witnesses in the courtroom, he threw up his hands and said “I would love it [to be kicked out]. I would love it.” The justice then responded that Trump clearly couldn’t control himself, and the heavily fake-tanned politician snapped back “You can’t either!”
Trump’s childish lack of filter is also a key reason he’s in this pickle in the first place. His supporters have ensconced themselves in a bubble so thick that most cult leaders would think they’re a little too into the McDonalds-loving former president. This means they believe everything he says without question, even when it contradicts his previous statements, footage pulled from a live broadcast, and the laws of physics.
His relentless attacks on Carroll have been bolstered by an army of trolls who have sent her thousands of threatening and insulting social media comments. She told the jury:
“Well, to have the president of the United States, one of the most powerful persons on earth, calling me a liar for three days and saying I’m a liar 26 times — I counted them — it ended the world that I had been living in.”
Trump isn’t just unable to keep his mouth shut in the courtroom. His proclivity for firing out unhinged social media posts has not slowed down since his presidency, and Carroll has continued to be one of his major obsessions. Her legal team has even entered recent posts as evidence in this trial, which further shows that the one-term president has the impulse control of a child who has only just figured out how to walk. We can only hope mummy and daddy take the phone away.
