‘Not your plant being put in protective custody’: Couple’s porch plant is stolen in broad daylight, but the thief is actually a secret life-saver

Unfriendly neighborhood Karens are a plague that’s affected many of our lives, so when there’s video evidence of a woman swiping a fern from someone’s front porch, we’re predisposed to grind our teeth at yet another entitled local busybody acting like she owns the whole street. In this case, however, there’s a twist in the tale. This exonerated Karen is the hero in this story, not the villain.

TikTok user @queenblatinaofficial, aka Brenda, shared what we all thought at first glance was a “Karen Caught On Camera” video but is actually something much different (and far funnier). “Omg!!! My husband and I were arguing about what happened to my plant!!” Brenda writes in her caption. “Literally argued! so we both said WELL DUH LOOK AT THE CAMERA!”

Sure enough, the front porch camera footage reveals what really happened to the vanishing fern. But it turns out the act of theft was for the fern’s own good.

The camera footage depicts a woman brazenly strolling up the driveway in broad daylight and swiping the fern from its place on the porch. The perpetrator of the purloined plant then leans into the camera and drops a revelation we weren’t anticipating. “I’m taking Fernie, b*tch! You’re a murderer! He’s almost dead, b*tch,” says the woman, before hilariously adding, “I love you, bye.”

Yes, it seems this quiet day in Brenda’s Texan neighborhood was guest-directed by M. Night Shyamalan. “I was about to be all mad about a Karen neighbor but Fernie did need saving,” wrote one user in the comments. “Not your plant being put into protective custody lmfao,” laughed another. “Damn, someone called Plant Protective Services on y’all!” someone else quipped. Others can sadly relate: “My coworker just removed my plant from my custody and put it in foster care in her office.”

Although the “porch bandit,” as Brenda dubs the woman in her hashtags, seemed to be hostile at first, the fact that she adds “I love you” at the end of her speech suggests she stole Fernie out of love for both the plant and her friend. Sure enough, Brenda’s use of the “#besties” hashtag confirms it. And yet the duo’s friendship may now be tested as the grueling custody battle for little Fernie plays out. “I’m Team Fernie!!! When and where is the Custody trial?” asked one comment. “She done told me I’m never getting him back lol,” Brenda replied, “but I’ll fight for visitation lol.”

For those who may be similarly poor at keeping plants alive but don’t want their own fern-snatcher to come along and steal their babies, there are four key things to remember when attempting to care for your own front porch fern. According to Fairview Garden Center, you have to make sure to pick the right type of fern that’s best suited to your environment, you have to plant it in the right light (indirect sunlight is best), you have to water it frequently (how frequently varies on if it’s hanging or potted), and you must fertilize it monthly.

Care for your plants while you still can, folks, because you never know when some green-fingered felon is going to take them away from you.