‘I’m into recyclin’, not murderin’: Jogger accidentally runs into a ‘Law & Order’ episode when she discovers abandoned weapon

A comedian’s short video message for the police has gone viral on TikTok. Ashley Gutermuth (username ashgutermuth) — who appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, where Jerry Seinfeld chose her to win the “Seinfeld Challenge” — uploaded the video while she was out jogging.

In the 16-second clip, Gutermuth explains she was running (which she does every day and picks up litter along the way) when she stumbled upon a knife, either covered in dried blood or dirt. She proceeds to run away with it while carrying it in a cup. The comedian calls what follows “a message for the police” and vehemently stresses that it has nothing to do with her and that they won’t find any of her handprints on it because she’s “into recyclin’, not murderin’.”

Presumably, she proceeded to hand the incriminating item to the police (seriously, a follow-up video would be most welcome, Miss Gutermuth!). The responses to the video were varied, to say the least, but they all provided plenty of thought-provoking points and entertainment.

How did TikTok react to the video?

Some users pointed out the dangers of running with the weapon. Comments about that included, “Running with a knife is a whole level of trust I do not have in myself” and “Did your parents tell you not to run with sharp objects? Lol.”

Others highlighted that running with the knife might have looked a tad dubious. One user said, “Running with it in a cup is totally not suspicious” and another pointed out the chilling possibility of “the criminal watching you running away with the murder weapon.”

Some people said Gutermuth had done the wrong thing by picking the item up. One commented that she “should have left it and called non emergency to report and offered to hang out to keep an eye if they were going to come to collect it right away,” with others agreeing that “You “should’ve left it there and called the cops.”

Others simply loved the line about recycling. One such person wrote, “I need that into a shirt “I’m into recyclin’ not murderin’” and another said, “”I’m into recyclin’, not murderin’.” This is the best quote I have heard this year.”

One user echoed what we were all thinking: “Yup. We are going to need an update on what happened with said knife.” Meanwhile, a concerned TikToker advised, “You need a tetanus shot 😂”

Jokes aside, the possible backstory of the knife paints a rather concerning picture that gets even more horrifying in light of the crimes committed in the country. According to statistics provided by Statista, of the 19,196 homicides documented in 2022 in the United States of America, 1,630 were committed using a knife or a similar cutting instrument. That means such sharp objects accounted for 8.49% of all homicides committed (unsurprisingly, the highest proportion — 14789, which is 77% of all 19,196 homicides — were committed using guns and rifles of varying types).

Here’s hoping the knife Gutermuth found hadn’t been used for such a nefarious purpose!