Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for iHeartMedia

Totally normal celeb couple Megan Fox and MGK get engaged, drink each other’s blood

Megan Fox took to Instagram to announce that she's engaged to Machine Gun Kelly. Obviously they drank each other's blood to celebrate.

Is love real? It is if you’re Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly, aka Colson Baker. Fox took to Instagram to announce her engagement to the rapper turned pop-punk singer and actor. She also shared a video of the moment he got down on one knee and asked to marry her. Just a good old-fashioned romantic gesture.

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“In July of 2020 we sat under this banyan tree. We asked for magic. We were oblivious to the pain we would face together in such a short, frenetic period of time. Unaware of the work and sacrifices the relationship would require from us but intoxicated off of the love. And the karma,” she said.

The couple “walked through hell together,” and she “laughed more than I ever imagined possible.”

So far, pretty standard stuff for a declaration of love and commitment. MGK asked for her hand and “as in every lifetime that will follow it, I said yes.”

Still fairly normal. Until the next line: “…and then we drank each other’s blood.” Of course, they did. Take a look at the whole post below.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CYpcFruB2UB/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Sanitary issues aside, this is fairly rote for a couple known as “super weird.” These quotes from the couple published by British GQ are a testament to that.

“I just remember this tall, blond, ghostly creature and I looked up and I was like, ‘You smell like weed.’ He looked down at me, and he was like, ‘I am weed.’ Then, I swear to God, he disappeared like a ninja in a smoke bomb,” Fox said about MGK.

“Even our first kiss, she wouldn’t kiss me. We just put our lips right in front of each other and breathed each other’s breath, and then she just left,” MGK said about Fox.

Here are the two of them posing like vampires. They love blood!

https://www.instagram.com/p/CU5c5R1POpA/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

The relationship sounds like two middle schoolers meeting behind the cafeteria to make out before lunch. But isn’t that the purest form of love after all? Who knows.

In that same GQ article, Fox admits that the two experience “euphoric highs” together but don’t have a perfect relationship. Celebrities are like us, after all. However, dealing with problems means they have to come face to face with their “shadow selves” and experience both “ecstasy and agony.”

“I didn’t say it was the darkest fairy tale for no reason. There’s also the demonic side,” Fox said.

One time they went to Bora Bora and took mushrooms and got on a boat and found a Banyan tree on a mountain. Yes, that Banyan tree.

Congratulations to the happy couple, and condolences to their veins.


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Jon Silman
Jon Silman is a stand-up comic and hard-nosed newspaper reporter (wait, that was the old me). Now he mostly writes about Brie Larson and how the MCU is nose diving faster than that 'Black Adam' movie did. He has a Zelda tattoo (well, Link) and an insatiable love of the show 'Below Deck.'