5 Things Brad Pitt Has Adopted That Have Made His Masculinity Incredibly Intimidating

Burn After Reading 5 Things Brad Pitt Has Adopted That Have Made His Masculinity Incredibly Intimidating

Sometimes it seems as though the gods created Brad Pitt specifically as a check to keep self-conscious guys from becoming overconfident in themselves. This isn’t a bad thing. Dudes could stand to be taken down a peg from time to time. Everyone laments, and rightly so, the fact that women are constantly being compared to utterly impossible ideals, and that’s unlikely to stop any time soon. To even things out, maybe it’s just that we need more images in our culture that present men in ways that make us dudes feel like we can never measure up. That may present a host of other problems, but at least there’d be a more level playing field. This path toward equality is aided by movies like Magic Mike and stars like Brad Pitt. Maybe.

Pitt has held the status of “too sexy” for over 20 years. He was first caught by the female gaze in 1991’s Thelma and Louise. He’s been around a long time. The guy turns 50 this year. And it’s not that his age hasn’t begun to show, but he’s grown into it in a fascinating and frustratingly attractive way. He’s not this hunky kid anymore (mercifully); he is, however, now this man who puts us all to shame. I mean what are we doing, guys, really. This is a guy who has transitioned from heartthrob to cool dad completely seamlessly, and even when he’s being ridiculous he’s kind of being awesome. People talk about their Nick Offermans and their Jon Hamms when it comes to overwhelming masculinity, and rightly so. There’s something to be said though about the longevity and the adaptability of Brad Pitt’s manliness.

Here are 5 qualities Brad Pitt has developed over time and adopted to further establish his manhood. And I’m not even talking about the children he’s adopted. Although I could. Dude balances work and family like it’s nothing.

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1) That stuck-out chin, opened mouth expression thing

Moneyball 5 Things Brad Pitt Has Adopted That Have Made His Masculinity Incredibly Intimidating

This is the new mannerism I noticed Pitt starting to do in Inglourious Basterds and Moneyball recently. It’s not that it’s necessarily a new thing he’s picked up—thinking back I’m pretty sure this was a face employed regularly in Fight Club and elsewhere—but when he was younger it just signified a certain youthful swagger. Now, it’s this gesture of authority and gravitas.

Is it clear what I’m referring to? Aldo Raine did it a lot, as if he had a wad of chewing tobacco in his lower lip. He very well may have. But then again as Billy Beane, Pitt always seemed to be on the verge of a long sigh, inhaling deeply in through his mouth and exhaling through flared nostrils. Pursed lips throughout. And he sat like this, with this expression, as everyone around him was telling him how foolish he was being. It was a countenance that suggested a quiet but stubborn confidence, a refusal to compromise what he was convinced was a winning strategy for his baseball club.

As Aldo, he had a little glimmer in his eye that made this confidence amusing and a little frightening, as if he had a certain degree of madness to his sly look. I’m not even sure how subtle this is, but it’s noticeable enough to get self-esteemy about and/or emulate.

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2) That thing where he puts his hands on his hips

Inglourious Basterds 5 Things Brad Pitt Has Adopted That Have Made His Masculinity Incredibly Intimidating

It’s not just his facial disposition that projects “I am a MAN and IDGAF,” but also Brad Pitt’s physical presence, his body language. One prominent aspect of his physicality is the standing posture he’s adopted for some characters lately, an authoritative pose that complements his commanding jaw, standing with his hands on his hips, often with a tucked shirt. This is body language that yells “I’m in charge mofos” or “I’m the manager of this team, deal with it” or “I’m the fittest guy in this club” or “I’m the master of this house, Jessica Chastain.”

So we see this pose used in Moneyball a lot, basically anytime he goes into the clubhouse and tells the team to get their poop in a group, and has to convey an air of confidence. It’s used to somewhat goofier effect in Burn After Reading to capture a clueless meathead whose confidence is horribly misplaced. It’s a pose a lot of dudes can look absolutely ridiculous holding (see: Bill Paxton), but Pitt pulls it off like a pro. Damn him.

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3) That weird beard thing he had for a while

Brad Pitt 5 Things Brad Pitt Has Adopted That Have Made His Masculinity Incredibly Intimidating

It may not have looked good, but goddamn it if he didn’t believe in that thing. There’s something about sporting a crazy beard that makes a guy seem dangerous. For some, this projects a message of “I’m going to follow you home and do weird things to you when you fall asleep.” But not for someone like Brad Pitt. The old adage that if you’re poor you’re crazy and if you’re rich you’re eccentric applies, particularly if handsomeness is considered in addition to wealth. I have no evidence to back this up but I suspect that his beard got to be that way when he simply didn’t shave for one day.

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4) That having an awesome voice thing

Brad Pitt1 5 Things Brad Pitt Has Adopted That Have Made His Masculinity Incredibly Intimidating

His commercial for Chanel No. 5 perfume is now the stuff of infamy, having been parodied now to death and ridiculed at great length, not without good reason. But it’s also kind of oddly compelling, and a lot of this is because Brad Pitt has one of those mesmerizing voices. This is true of a lot of movie stars. It’s one of the things that made them who they are. They’re natural narrators.

Pitt’s voice has some unique qualities, though. And it’s one of the things that made The Tree of Life so engaging. It can handle the serious poetry of a movie from someone like Terence Malick and also the insane dialogue of a guy like Quentin Tarantino, transitioning from 1940s southern general to post-war suburban scary dad as though no effort is required. It’s the resonant baritone sound we all aim for and rarely achieve save for early mornings and sick days.

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5) That being good in everything thing

Benjamin Button 5 Things Brad Pitt Has Adopted That Have Made His Masculinity Incredibly Intimidating

Lately the most striking thing about Brad Pitt—he’s not the only one but he’s one of few actors right now who it applies to—is that everything he’s been in for the past several years has been outstanding, and he has been outstanding in them. It’s a testament to his seemingly increasing talent but also his judgment in selecting roles and projects that are excellent. The first of this string of terrific films was probably Babel in 2006, a bit of a departure for someone of Pitt’s star caliber, especially coming off a movie like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. And then there was a real streak of quality that included many aforementioned titles as well as The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Assassination of Jesse James, and some promising upcoming features. His performances in all of these have been uniformly fantastic.

It’s not exactly a departure from his previous work, though, not terribly exceptional based on his career up to recent years. This is a guy who established himself alongside the great David Fincher in movies like Se7en and Fight Club, in addition to stuff like 12 Monkeys and Snatch. So he’s always basically been a really great actor. And it’s enough to make us all insanely jealous. Brad Pitt has got it going on, and always has, and probably always will. I’m man enough to admit it. But unfortunately, not man enough to be it.

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  • Dionysus

    er..you forgot the rocking body and 6 pack abs..what guy doesn’t go ‘well, hell, damn my love of beer’

  • Prometheus

    I think a way in which Brad Pitt achieves that stuck-out chin, opened mouth expression thing is by taking a bite of food. I think that expression might come naturally after swallowing.. and he’s always eating.

    • south jersey guy

      He’s just somthing for wome to lust after he’s a preety boy punk (I’m not smart enough to be clever, so I resort to homophobic slurs)in my book.I love my life and get

      plenty of action by the way

      • Bob Saget

        Was that English?

  • logat890

    stupid article

    • Joanie Dudley

      I agree, and what makes it even worse is the author’s poor writing skills. While I might agree with some things hes trying to convey, instead I’m caught up in inability to creatively write a story that makes sense!

  • Maria Paramythatzou

    Well, he is a good actor, but since I was never ‘into’ him I don’t really see the difference in anything that he does

  • goo

    Wow what a waste of time

  • Tislo

    Stupid article.
    These are the things that make the authors masculinity feel intimidated?
    I think it has more to do with the fact that you have a vagina.

  • Kymera

    I wish I could hate the man, but I can’t! Great actor. *Ridiculously* good looking. Seems like the kind of guy that you’d have an awesome pub crawl with. Yup, I’m jealous of the guy. Hate him? Never.

  • derpderp

    bro, do you even Pitt?

  • bill

    Even by internet celebrity news site standards, this article is atrocious.

  • Al Tungupon

    The fact is that Brad, with his awesome appearance, is able to get away with things like Killing Them Softly and that Chanel commercial that didn’t make any sense at all. Even Chris Martin admits being intimidated of Pitt’s much better looks, despite him ending up marrying his ex Gwyneth Paltrow. Coming from a straight man, he is an incredibly handsome fellow, and anyone marrying then divorcing him is the stupidest thing a woman could ever do.

  • Joey Kelly

    What the hell. What a waste of time.

  • Kaity

    Until World War Z. Now Brad Pitt’s acting role choices are crap.

  • samd11

    Brad Pitt is not even close to my usual romantic fantasies, but he makes me smile and he is definitely a good actor. He seems like a genuinely nice man.

  • Male

    who cares about brad pitty

  • Paul

    Here’s an idea, stop comparing yourself to other people and be happy. That goes especially for you women.

  • Leopard

    I’ve seen a lot of actors who could top him in the manly and handsome department. He’s never done anything for me since day one. Have to admit I loved him in ’12 Monkeys’, loathed him in ‘Troy’. Sounds like the one writing this article definitely has a thing for Pitt.

  • missd420

    I have to disagree, but only slightly, with the last one. It may have just been me, but I absolutely HATED Burn After Reading. It was pointless, drawn out drivel, and I had that feeling of 2 hours of wasted life I had not felt since Lady In The Water. Sorry, just saying.

  • https://twitter.com/G33KAZ01D Fatal Exe

    This was an article obviously written by a woman acting like a man.

  • vincent

    “I’m going to follow you home and do weird things to you when you fall asleep.”

    yeah…ive never thought of that looking at his beard.

  • Daniel

    I honestly believe the dumbest person in the world wrote this article. I am not jealous of brad pitt, or his masculinity, I just find this article painful to have sat through, and actually read

  • Hector Zozulya

    You and your movie stars, augh… What’s so special about movie celebs anyway? They’re not firefighters, they’re not nurses, teachers or other people who really deliver a service to the world (and get payed way, way less for that).
    There are much more attractive and sexier people in the world than this Brad and other celebs. Get real.

  • Anne Wentzel

    So then Daniel if it was painful to watch, why did you watch it!

  • NYC

    Brad Pitt has pulled off a masculinity that most women adore in a man….he has a sexy funniness to him yet caring, loving and protective trait that makes us wish he was ours….don’t be hatin’ men…take a clue off of Brad…you’ll get the girl if you’re sincere