8 Movies Only a Bitter, Cynical Person Could Hate

March 10, 2013 Darren Ruecker 199 Comments

Enchanted 8 Movies Only a Bitter, Cynical Person Could Hate

Really serious movie people, like the kinds who write for newspapers and magazines and want to be taken really really seriously when it comes to opinions on movies (which they would of course refer to as “films”, or “cinema”), usually prefer movies that are serious so they can talk about them in a serious way and demonstrate how serious they are. If you take a look at the yearly top ten lists for most critics, they’ll be comprised of many serious dramas. I’m guilty of this.

It’s understandable why these movies can be divisive. Opinions naturally split on whether a dramatic movie works or not. The same is true of comedies, perhaps even more so, because comedy is often an even more particularly subjective experience. People differ on comedic takes rather strongly.

And yet there are some movies that seem to be impossible to dislike. They have a spirit of general enjoyment, a tone of happiness that is overwhelming, though not to the point of being suffocating. There are lots of movies that try too hard to be cheery, and that can be annoying, so it should not be discounted just how difficult it is to pull off a truly happy, universally-appealing movie. But there are a number to draw from, that frequently end up in people’s lists of all-time faves.

Here is a list of 8 happy movies that I have yet to hear complaints about, except from angry people who genuinely hate life and detest joy. Taste the happy, Michael!

Continue reading on the next page…

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  • http://twitter.com/MinimeJer05 Jeremy Lebens

    Definitely dislike the first two on the list.

  • Lauren

    I’m with you on most of these – especially Happy-Go-Lucky, which is one of Leigh’s best films. Not so with Garden State: that movie pissed me off. It’s so twee and saccharine.

  • Razvigor

    I get why people would hate Argo – it takes a bit too much historical liberties, especially concerning the fact that it all happened fairly recently. It gives a bit too much credit to the Americans, while talking away from the other embassie’s contribution…
    …not to mention the completely made up last act with on the airport, because – Hey, we ”need” to have an action climax! Ugh…

  • Solgazer

    Universal appeal may not extend to the British or New Zealanders either. They helped shelter the prisoners as well but in Argo, apparently just turned them away.

    • crittab

      That movie is pretty offensive to a lot of people who worked a whole helluva lot harder to save those people than the American’s or CIA did.

  • Darren Ruecker

    I should add that the first page features an image from Enchanted, a movie I found excruciating because I am dead inside.

    • http://profiles.google.com/richlehmann711 Rich Lehmann

      I would say “don’t quit your day job” but you are probably living off your parents. So instead I’ll say “go back to art-school you phoney douche-bag poser.”

      • Darren Ruecker

        I appreciate your restraint!

  • Kevin

    I’ll tell you the best movie to wake up to on Saturday morning: Buckaroo Bonzai across the 8th Diemnsion.

  • species-521

    i hate argo.

  • http://twitter.com/SailorAlphaC K. C.

    I have only seen Singing in the Rain, and while I like the movie, it does not evoke glee. I hate Edward Norton. I can’t even articulate it anymore, but I have
    never enjoyed him in a movie. Most of these films just seem so
    uninteresting to me. I’d rather watch real silent films over a fake one,
    I have no interest in movies about the CIA. The only two films that I’d ever wanted to see are High Fidelity and Almost Famous, and even then I doubt that I’d be made happy by watching them.

    I’m not bitter or cynical, but I might be the closest thing to a black hole of feelings that you’re going to get in the comments on this list.

  • Danny P

    I hated all of them. In your face.

  • Ghoul

    I guess I’m soulless because even though I’ve seen literally none of these movies, I never want to either. =/

  • detectivedee

    John Cusack plays quite an asshole in High Fidelity. I hate that movie.

    • Dearsleazy

      It might have worked had it been set in London like the actual book.. and not starring John Cussack, the man who can’t close his mouth.

    • Tim Hoskins

      In the words of Barry, “You can be, and are, wrong.” High Fidelity is one of the best movies of all time. It’s not just some comedy, it’s a highly perceptive look at the male soul. And the book is even better.

      • weezayt

        that’s right! i forgot it was a book, thanks for the inadvertent suggestion

  • http://www.facebook.com/dmelges Dave Melges

    Do you REALLY believe everyone loves Edward Norton? I was doing alright with this bizarre list until that line. Not only can I not STAND Edward Norton, I know LOTS of people that hate Edward Norton.

    He’s arrogant, full of himself, and they keep giving him leading man parts when he’s CLEARLY, at best, a character actor. He looks funny, sounds funny, and is practically laughable when he has to be tough. Which is all fine, unless the ACTOR thinks he’s Rock Hudson….which he apparently does.

    Edward Norton? Good grief.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brian-Sleider/1847907840 Brian Sleider

    Hated half the movies on your “Movies that are impossible hate list”.

  • http://twitter.com/henry_pollard Santiago B.

    Terrible list. I know plenty of people who hate half the movies on this list for valid reasons. You basically wrote about movies you like.

    • http://www.facebook.com/mdjpinto Mario Dinis

      Bullseye!

  • no

    Poser list

  • df dasdf

    You lie terrible movies.

  • http://profiles.google.com/madmaxandrade Tiago Andrade

    What – no Back to the Future? No Princess Bride? No Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?

    • markedward

      Eh, I’ll contend with Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but the other two are universally loved despite any flaws.

    • http://www.facebook.com/brent.killian1 Brent Killian

      definitely I have never watched any of the movies mentioned. I would argue the Princess Bride is the greatest movie ever created.

      • http://twitter.com/pianobymoonlite Erika

        Except how it shows treating a woman Sharia-style is ok.

      • http://twitter.com/pianobymoonlite Erika

        Except how it shows treating a woman Sharia-style is ok.

      • http://twitter.com/pianobymoonlite Erika

        Except how it shows treating a woman Sharia-style is ok.

        • Chris

          Yes. The point of The Princess Bride was to provide sociopolitical guidelines for treatment of women, not telling a fantasy romance story or anything like that.

        • http://www.facebook.com/williamglenn.early William Glenn Early

          Ummm, no: the hero was acting out of respect for the heroine, in the face of a sharia-like culture. Watch the movie again, and this time, try to pay attention. (His behavior in the guise of the Dread Pirate Roberts was to make sure she hadn’t turned away from true love. When she knocked him down the hill, his, “as you wiiiiish,” said everything that was real about him. Again, WATCH THE MOVIE, and try and take it all in.)

      • http://twitter.com/gwyndra Jen

        Agreed, I was really disappointed to not see that movie on this list. It should be #1.

    • IHATEHIPSTERSSS

      god damn i hated garden state.

      • david cole

        me too !

  • yourdad

    man i think you are bonkers for liking most of these movies

  • N12

    Argo? Argo was a movie that shocked even Jimmy Carter, who was President at the time of the hostage crisis, in its proudly, stupidly jingoistic plot and the gross distortion of the truth and made him state that the whole rescue operation was done “90% by Canadians” (it was, at the time, called the Canadian Caper after all). The former ambassador to Canada who worked on said rescue mission has expressed his surprise and distaste at what Argo did. The original cut of the movie even had a postscript (you know, right after that schmaltzy, über-patriotic USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! ending scene with the star-spangled banner shown everywhere) that downright denigrated Canada and its involvement: “The involvement of the CIA complemented efforts of the Canadian embassy to free the six held in Tehran. To this day the story stands as an enduring model of international co-operation between governments.”

    Not only did the movie lie about New Zealand and the UK not wanting to grant them refuge (they did and the hostages stayed in the UK for a while before going to Canada because their accents would blend in better), it whitewashed the main role of the originally Latin-American rescuer Tony Mendez and it showed a quick “introduction” on the Islamic Revolution full of over-generalizations, distorted “facts” and wrong impressions (as if the population was uniform in its revolt because ISLAM HATES AMERICA, for one), leaving out some of the even more unsavory parts America played in all of it and treating the Revolution with all the nuance of a Good vs. Evil battle only Hollywood can accomplish. Threats of shutting down the Canadian embassy and leaving the refugees without a place to hide as well as the tense situation of Affleck just staying at some random motel instead of at the Canadian Embassy distorted history even more in favor of The United States of America, the only true nation of actual heroes with big enough balls to save its own countrymen abroad.

    Add in the fact that even this fictionalized, heavily revisionist serving doesn’t even make a great movie (merely an okay one, directorially and otherwise) AND included heaps of “funny” and light-hearted moments that were, by default, in bad taste considering the subject matter… It’s even more of an affront that this was ever deemed “Best Picture”-worthy by anyone, even when one knows that the Academy is actually 99% composed of middle age/older rich white men. Spitting in the face of any other country besides itself and masturbating to its own purported Exceptionalism is something the US always does well, though.

    • N12

      *Latino/Hispanic American Tony Mendez. Damn typos.

      • Lyla Rose

        Played by the whitest man on earth Ben Affleck.

      • korichneveygigant

        Mexican, Italian, Irish decent

        so Mexitalrish American

    • http://www.facebook.com/al.sona.3 Al Sona

      Try again.

    • crittab

      Basically what I came by to say. Argo is ‘just okay’ as a fictional movie. As a film that tried to pass itself off as based in truth, it’s a fucking disaster.

    • Guest

      yawn

  • MatthewMelange

    I must be a hateful, cynical person. I don’t care for 3 of the 8 movies.

  • Edward

    8/8 I hate them all. Guess I’m going to be a Terrible Person from now!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/pete.wilson.14019 Pete Wilson

    What an odd list. I suspect Darren Ruecker must be very young. Sounds more like a list of Darren’s favorite movies. Darren, please don’t assume your favorite movies are the same as the rest of the world’s… especially those of us who have been watching movies decades before you were even born.

    • http://profiles.google.com/richlehmann711 Rich Lehmann

      EXACTLY! That article was like listening to a twenty-something that just got out of art school.

      • Eddie Cheung

        or dropped out of art school!

    • Capo_Del_Bandito

      Stop bringing logic into this! You’ll make Darren sad when you show him what a shallow hipster he is…

  • Danny

    I don’t hate any of these films, I may dislike some of them, hate is a powerful word.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=614388596 Matt Wilson

    Every movie on this list sucks. You failed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=122504169 Sebastian Eklund

    Argo fuck yourself. What a terrible movie.

  • http://twitter.com/Cinesnatch Cinesnatch

    This list is a pretty fault-filled representation of films only a “bitter, cynical person could hate.” It includes many titles which are clunky and inept to the point it becomes hard to enjoy them. That being said, as I remember, Happy-go-lucky seemed to be one of those films that only a “bitter, cynical person could hate.” Sally Hawkins was adorable without being syrupy sweet, and the message was pretty solid along with a comic tone. (I haven’t seen Singing in the Rain, though, its inclusion amongst so many more current titles seems a bit of an anomaly and suggests the list overall was produced with little thought.)

  • elevi

    The only one I’ve seen is Singing in the Rain.

  • Jackowacko1055

    A few of these I disagreed with, but damn I was happy to see Almost Famous there. I’ve barely seen anyone talking about it online, and it being my favourite movie ever, I must say cheers to this list writer.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pmarsh1 Peter Marsh

    Ugh I hated Garden State.

  • MB Archer

    Hello Mr. Hipster. This is a “these are my favorite movies and darn you if you aren’t cool enough to like them” list. I like maybe two of those flicks. You know, it’s ok to NOT like a movie. You crazy hipster.

    • Doug

      Ha,…my film hipster friends would laugh at this list. These are just average films.

  • Zach Braff

    Garden State is awful.

  • Anthony Tipton

    Pork you! Damn it all, I loved Garden State! Natalie Portman was irresistable!

  • http://twitter.com/barry_swift Barry Swift

    I fully expected to read the comments and find worthy films missing from the list. Guess everyone would rather whine about Garden State and Argo. SOOOO… That said – “Amelie”. I mean it. If you don’t like this movie then you are a horrible, horrible person who will never be loved.

  • tylerandjack

    Yeah, that’s a pretty awful list. I LOVE Singin’ In The Rain, but there are many who will watch it nowadays and just not go along with it. Argo upset a number of folks with its Hollywoodisation of the whole situation. Garden State is good, but overshadowed by the likes of Dazed & Confused or any number of superior indie movies about folks being young ‘uns.
    Die Hard and Tremors seem to be, in my experience, films that very few people dislike, let alone hate. Back To The Future is another. And maybe Gremlins. There, I fixed half of your list.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Richard-Alpert/1221947969 Richard Alpert

    I think people are going to have to come to terms with the fact that Ben Affleck was actually not as miscast as Tony Mendez as people think. Latino’s in this country run the gamut in terms of their personal background and racial/ethnic makeup.. Yet for everyone who thinks Argo was guilty of whitewashing, they in turn are guilty of buying in to the easiest stereotypes of Latinos. Most of the alternate casting choices I have heard are unimaginative and conform to what one expects when casting a Latino male character. Though I will give these people credit as Cheech Marin somehow has managed to not be mentioned as a possible Tony Mendez. So far.

  • http://www.facebook.com/christopher.tkachuk.5 Christopher Tkachuk

    NO. NO NO NO. FUCK ARGO.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rebekah.askren Rebekah L. Askren

    Garden State, High Fidelity, Almost Famous, even Reality Bites. I think Darren Ruecker must be around my age, early 30′s. I loved this list! I’d add Empire Records too.

  • anna

    Hey…creator of this list…umm I must tell you some guy has plagiarised your list. I think you should check it out. Here’s the link to it: http://www.listal.com/list/8-movies-only-bitter-cynical

  • EF Paisley

    Ha–ha you had me going for a minute. As I went through this list I noticed there wasn’t one movie on the list that I liked. There were even a couple I didn’t like enough to even see. I then checked to see if this was written on April fools day. I guess you were either being sarcastic or funny, if so…. well done.

    • Doug

      It must be an early April fools joke.

  • cheerio

    All these films suck dick bigtime.

  • Ollie

    The author of this article needs to rethink their life.

    • Eddie Cheung

      Nah. He should just get out of blogging.

  • Doug

    Nice, I am proud to say that I don’t HATE one of these films. It’s hard to hate a very, very predictable average film like these on the list. They might have been cool when you were coming of age, but you’re holding onto the nostalgia. What about “One flew over the cookoos nest”? Never met one person who hated that film.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Fabian-André-Pape/1309754310 Fabian André Pape

    Is it just me? I hate nearly every fuckign film in this list :D

  • coffeecreep2000

    It’s almost amazing how much I hate Garden State.

  • Voltron

    I was expecting some more universal type movies like “Big”, “Star Wars” or something, but this is a way specific list of movies with limited appeal and just because they have the headline of “if u don’t like this list than you’re a bad person”, it doesn’t hold water.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sara-E-James/170101031 Sara E. James

    Why do you have a picture from Enchanted on this article when you didn’t mention it?

  • http://www.facebook.com/gpharman George Harman

    What about Juno? Garden State gets in but Juno is left out?

  • SJ

    I read this because of the picture of Enchanted which didn’t even make the list. My list would go 8. Enchanted 7. Big 6. Casablanca 5. Babe (with an exception for people who can’t stomach talking animals) 4. Back to the Future 3.Rudy 2. A Christmas Story 1. The Princess Bride

    • Adam Lynema

      I would say hearing about the real Rudy ruined the movie for me. The real Rudy is a pompous prick who most of his teammates hated because he was self-centered. So you replace that with Hoosiers, then I’ll like your list more than the actual list.

  • Ian Brett Cooper

    High Fidelity? Well, I hated that movie.

    • poppet

      Well I loved it so I guess the score is tied.

  • http://www.facebook.com/al.sona.3 Al Sona

    To everyone on here, it is an opinion. Stop acting like this is gospel.

  • http://www.facebook.com/carrie.pfeiffer.9 Carrie Pfeiffer

    List was pretty good. Other universally great movies — even some cheesey ones: Love Actually, Princess Bride, 500 Days of Summer, Ferris Bueller, Sister Act, the Outsiders, the Sound of Music (even though it has Nazis, its still a great story and the music is timeless), Babe and Homeward Bound (for kids).

  • Joshua Paul Harding

    huh whats this…sounds like a challenge!

  • http://profiles.google.com/richlehmann711 Rich Lehmann

    I guess the writers point is “If you are not a pretentious hipster like me, you must be cynical and bitter.”

  • Phil Denson

    Terrible list, drag me in with a picture of “Enchanted”…agreeing right off the bat that only a cynical person would dislike this joyful, sappy gem. Then, not to my surprise, like so many wasted pages of internet air…it’s not even mentioned? Again, at the risk of sounding cynical…terrible list.

  • Duh

    Hawt, never seen any, nor plan to, besides argo i think. I’m not cynical btw, I just hate boring movies.

  • http://www.facebook.com/danielcloud11 Daniel Cloud Montgomery

    High Fidelity? Are you on crack?

  • Eugene Jacobson

    This list reigns true… all of these commenters indeed come off as bitter, cynical people, you know?

  • tooelecommuter_2011

    Garden State was a pretentious piece of crap.

  • TJ

    So now I’m a bitter, cynical person? I can live with that.

    Stupid article by the way.

  • Cat

    apparently the artist was awful…

  • Mike

    I’ve never heard of a single one of them, but they all seem like pretentious shit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jake.modica Jake Modica

    refuse to watch Argo because although they give Jack Kirby a token cameo, they didn’t want to use his actual art because it would require paying his family.

  • I hate everything

    Every bitter cynical post of “I hate…” in the comments section proves this article to be correct.

  • legacy1x

    So you pick 8 movies you like and say if you don’t agree your Bitter and cynical? Classy.

  • Eddie Cheung

    No one I know who saw The Artist agrees with me (which makes me SAD!), that there is an excellent reason to dislike the male protagonist, as no reason is ever given for his shabby treatment of his wife. Have we become so jaded that we expect our heroes to be bastards to their spouses?

  • http://twitter.com/MrTRONA Mijnheer TRONA

    Singin’ In The Rain is just depressing [& lists suck, please make them just stop & bring back real journalism]. :P

  • ValNika

    My husband is Iranian and he loved Argo. It was an extremely well written movie, and he says he was surprised at how well the movie focused more on the escape of the 6 that were trapped, rather than blaming Iranians to get Americans to hate and stereotype them more than they already do, haha.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jonathan.e.stern Jonathan Evan Stern

    1. Never saw it.
    2. Never saw it.
    3. I enjoyed it.
    4. It was okay, but I can think of five better Woody Allen movies off the top of my head (Antz, Take the Money and Run, Annie Hall, Sleeper, and Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Sex, but Were Too Afraid to Ask).
    5. This one I loved.
    6. Really? I hated this movie. I found it boring, depressing, and the moral or the story is outright dangerous.
    7. I think anyone who at least kind of likes musicals likes this, but if you don’t like musicals, you probably hate it.
    8. Never even heard of it.

  • Naomi naomi-cp@hotmail.com

    I really like The King’s Speech. There’s nothing Oscar baity about it. Argo, on the other hand…

  • http://twitter.com/T0NSTER333 ÇℜΔÇK_ℵΙℵℑΔΔ

    i stopped reading after “the artist”

  • http://www.facebook.com/donna.wildswalls Donna Wilds Walls

    What about Young Frankenstein? Blazing Saddles?

    • choosyloser

      The love for Young Frankenstein is a complete mystery to me. I love all the actors in Mel Brooks’s movies, but so much of his humor, especially in this, his most overrated film, is cliche piled on cliche. I’ve so wanted to enjoy it, but with each viewing at parties, I hate it all the more. Blazing Saddles is far better, but let’s face it: relying on such stuff as very extended fart jokes and the all-too-predictable comments on the black sheriff’s sexual prowess doesn’t help the movie break through anyone’s cynicism. There had to be something more universally appealing about a movie, not just advocacy of your own favorites.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jmacleve Janet Lingel Aldrich

    I absolutely adore The Artist and SInging in the Rain. You’re so right about Jean Dujardin!

  • http://www.facebook.com/justin.lecheminant Justin LeCheminant

    Jesus you suck at this, most people I know hate most of these movies and for good reason.

  • houstonfan4life

    Remember the Titans! That’s a movie that should be on the list!!

  • Audioclave

    Wholly disappointed that Ghostbusters didn’t make the list.

  • http://www.facebook.com/danielle.whitakerowens Danielle Whitaker Owens

    I think I’ve only seen ONE of those movies.

  • Jennie

    Ive never even HEARD of these movies except Garden State.

    • choosyloser

      Why do you and so many other people here think that whether you’ve heard of movies in a list is any indication of its worthiness?

  • Jaden

    I hated all these movies… im not a bitter, cynical person. There just crappy movies.

  • http://twitter.com/FenrirMX Mathias Cronqvist

    Wow, Jesus, 0/8.
    You suck

  • http://twitter.com/DeadLeaFMoth MonteBeckett

    Most of these films are Pretentious with a capital ‘P’ & I can see more why people SHOULD hate them than be won over by their make-believe moxie. Almost Famous, High Fidelity & especially Garden State are the standout uglies here. Your mention of Argo left me semi-stupified as there wasn’t a more gladhanding love letter to Hollywood made last year that was even in the same ballpark as that drivel. The Artist & Singin’ in the Rain practically sit at a level of sainthood compared to your other choices. Excuse my cynicism but, after seeing your other choices I’m rather surprised to see that they even made your list. Even Amelie would have been a more respectable entry comparitively.

  • http://twitter.com/ScuddaWax Jude Eckenrode

    These comments are so whiny.

  • http://www.facebook.com/nicholas.english Nicholas James English

    fuck off with your having to reload the entire page to go through the list.

  • John Heed

    Actually, the rape scene from Clockwork Orange has traumatized some people so much that they can’t bring themselves to see this movie.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Medusa-Jordan/1016725217 Medusa Jordan

      Gene Kelly was at some ‘do’ that Malcolm McDowell was also at, and refused to acknowledge him he was so enraged by the use of that song in that context.

    • choosyloser

      People need to know you’re referring to Singin’ in the Rain.

  • MyGroceryListIsMoreInsightful

    This entire list was a ruse was to get people to IMDB the little-seen movie Happy-Go-Lucky.

    “Can’t wait to see #1!” you think. “I bet it’s Love Actually. Or Enchanted! Or… WTF is Happy-Go-Lucky? Is this a paid advertisement?”

    Pretty sad, Mr. Mike Leigh. Er, or should I say “Darren Ruecker”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1433681420 Valerie Head

    Shawshank Redemption, Out of Africa, A River Runs Through It, Old Yeller, Anne of Green Gables, The Color Purple, the list goes on and on. Can’t narrow it down to a short list

  • Nastienka

    I think this movie is overrated, there are many movies better than this.

  • Susceptible Emilio

    I hate that Braff guy so therefore I hate Garden State. Plays the same guy in every tv shows and movies. Douche in real-life too.

  • crackerblack

    One of the worst lists I’ve seen on the internet. I mean that. It is bad in an antagonizing and smug fashion with no redeeming value. Garden State? Really? Either you are Zach Braff or were a teenage girl in 2004.

  • J

    I don’t like Argo because it changed the history, and being Canadian, I want the history to be correct and represent my country in a good way. xP

  • Moe B

    “There exists a sizeable contingent of people who don’t like Garden State”
    So why the fuck is it on this list. List….FAIL

  • Bob Bubbers

    I hated 6 of them.

    Try again.

  • Gustavo

    i hate them all

  • Matt

    Phew! Sounds like you suck at, and should stop making, lists! No-one agrees with your choices

  • http://twitter.com/greencomb The Green Comb

    Hats off to you Mr Ruecker. Beautifully written and with such honest appreciation & humble respect. Not a lot of writers like that out there these days. Not bitter and heartless at all.

  • ALAN

    garden state = a failed attempt at being intelligently pretentious; instead it just turns out to be a self indulgent, AMERICANS only, pile of steaming horse dung! If you’re looking for a reason to hate the world! watch this movie!

  • Lord Twat Beard

    I either didn’t see, wouldn’t watch or hated every single one of these movies…

  • Marlas ambivalence

    Very poor list, would like to comment why I dislike so many but just reading about some of these movies is sending me to sleep.

  • http://www.facebook.com/vicky.sunderland.18 Vicky Sunderland

    Never seen any of these 5. Not sure if thats my fail or yours.

    • choosyloser

      It’s never particularly attractive or sensible to brag about one’s ignorance—unless it’s ignorance of how to murder someone or similar. I’m guessing you’re American, since we Americans are more often than not truly proud of being know-nothings.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Melissa-Hamari/100000076759308 Melissa Hamari

    Anyway. Didn’t see a lot of these, but I didn’t -like- Garden State, but I am jaded and cynical, so that’s probably why.

    But I do love Enchanted, The Princess Bride, and Tne Never Ending Story.

  • http://www.facebook.com/THOMAS.B.SAUER93 Thomas B. Sauer

    As someone who is always described as a “bitter, cynical person” by my friends and loved ones, I have taken it upon myself to write my opinions of each of the films listed (at least the ones I have seen). Mind you, this is just my opinion and my opinion alone. Right, let’s get started:

    1. The Artist

    I thought this movie was alright. “All signs point to annoying, right?” Well, when you put it like THAT. “Most pretentious piece of artsy-fartsy Oscar bait since The King’s Speech?” The word “pretentious” didn’t even cross my mind at all when I saw previews for this thing. I saw what looked like a throwback to when movies were done in this style. Different doesn’t mean pretentious. Having said that, The Artist undeniably had its charms but in no way did I feel all the amount of praise it got was justified. At times, the movie felt longer than it actually did, most of which has to do with it’s nearly two hours in length while the movies its paying homage to run over an hour. Also, the score from Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo (one of the greats, by the way) is ripped straight into this movie and is almost passed as its own, which doesn’t help the bitter and cynical person inside me.

    2. Argo

    Ok, yes, I admit, I really did have a lot of fun with this movie. I think Roger Ebert (rest in peace) summed up Argo perfectly. “It is, first and foremost, a movie.” It is really terrible at telling the truth, but in terms of delivering a movie that delivered thrills, laughter, intrigue, and memorable performances all in a very tight package, Argo definitely brought the goods. The bitter and cynical person inside of me is thinking this movie is only getting incredibly high praise because Ben Affleck went from being a terrible actor to a pretty good movie director, and because that is kinda shocking, he is getting recognized. Also, any movie where Hollywood saves the day is guaranteed to win awards (Check Hugo, The Artist)

    3. Almost Famous

    I agree with this one and I have nothing to say about this movie that hasn’t already been said. I recommend it.

    5. High Fidelity

    Ok, I wholeheartedly agree with this one as it’s one of my personal favorite movies of all time.

    7. Singin’ In The Rain

    From one film buff, to another…
    No shit, Sherlock.

    8. Happy-Go-Lucky

    Are you serious? I think the most bitter and cynical viewers would have a field day with this one.You have Poppy, who is very bubbly and graces the screen with joy and happiness, all of which are juxtaposed by depressing events with even more depressing people in them for the sake of “happiness vs. sadness” and studying how different people harbor sadness.

    Overall, this is a terrible list based on the title, which is far too broad hence why people are wondering why you included Happy-Go-Lucky (Seriously?) over Big, Back To The Future, Ferris Bueller, etc.

    You should’ve renamed the list “8 Movies You May Want To Check Out (Unless You’re A Bitter, Cynical Person)” because I bet you many people have not seen most of these films.

  • Movie Buff

    This article, like most on this site, is pretentious bullshit. Garden State? Lame and self-indulgent. High-fidelity? snore fest

  • Capo_Del_Bandito

    “Movies only someone who isn’t into artsy self indulgent bullshit” – there’s your better name you hack.

    Christ couldn’t you at least be OBJECTIVE without falling into emotional pratfall shit?

  • Dirt Dingo

    While some of the films listed here are good (High Fidelity, Almost Famous to name a few), the title of the article is pretty misleading. It should read more like : ” 8 Movies every 15 Year Old Hipster Should Watch”. Besides, lot of these movies are pretty cynical and bitter themselves. And Garden State? Seriously? That was the biggest piece of pretentious schlock I’ve ever sat through.

    Here is a list that makes more sense for your title:

    Planes, Trains, And Automobiles — The Princess Bride — 12 Angry Men — Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves — Any Of The First 3 Indiana Jones Movies — South Park Movie — The Royal Tenenbaums (for the hipsters) — The Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

    The criteria for being a cynical and/or bitter person, to me, is one who doesn’t have a sense of humor, and who is highly self-conscious, as ALL of the films you selected are.

  • http://www.facebook.com/titanictom401 Thomas Humphrey

    How About Gone With The Wind,Raiders of the Lost Ark or Leon A.K.A. The ProFessional!!!!

    • choosyloser

      Gone with the Wind is a deeply offensive movie to anyone who knows the history of the Civil War and the oppression of black people in the US. Also I imagine that many people find it somewhat problematic that, in Leon, a girl asks to be trained as an assassin and her putative guardian obliges. Raiders has a much better chance for inclusion on the list.

  • TS

    I have to be cynical about this film, it was a terrible movie from start to finnish. The ingredients were good, but the outcome wasn’t. Two thumbs down for this film.

  • Sargonarhes

    Hate them? I am disinterested in them. Would not watch any of those movies as these seem boring as hell. Root canals are looking like a much better option.

  • David

    You have offended a lot of people lol
    but i understand why , it’s like you said that if we don’t like your favorite movies we are bad people.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=886595407 James Vetzal

    big problem with argo, as many canadians wil tell you, is that while it’s a good film they cut out most of canadian involvement, it was a canadian operation and cia was junior member on it, while the movie implies the cia just let canadians take credit :/

  • Jared

    I hated Garden State, I hated the horrible soundtrack too.

  • Heather Cook

    Websites like this don’t care if you like the same movies as so and so likes. They deliberately bait us (yes, myself included), with articles that have headlines that will more than likely insult 99.999 percent of whomever reads it. The writer titles his piece 8 Movies Only Cynical and Bitter People Could Hate. That’s a challenge. We can’t resist reading his crappy article because we know he is insinuating we are cynical, bitter people because surely we won’t agree with his list in it’s entirety. So everyone clicks on whatever link they took to get here, reads this list, confirms for themselves that his list of movies does not match up to their own, and gets really pissed because he started the name calling before he even got to the article. This isn’t journalism, But you know what? This “journalist” will get a big old bonus on his paycheck because at the very top of this page, the page views are listed. There are currently 1,582,730 views of this very page, which makes the advertiser on this page, some new Mtn Dew product, very happy. He could have drawn these movies at random from a hat. It doesn’t matter. This article got 1.5 million hits for this website and got this website a very nice fat check from Mountain Dew. We are all suckers. Tell me I’m wrong, “writer” Darren Ruecker. Tell me I’m just being cynical and bitter.

    • Chaz

      Unless he got a check from Mountain Dew and didn’t tell the rest of us, I’m going to have to say you’re wrong. We’re entertainment writers, we by very nature write about things we love. Sure, we use extreme verbiage mostly because we know how silly this entire thing is. Now, I for one appreciate every single person that comes to our site for whatever reason, and I sincerely hope we can earn your readership. Some articles are going to be outright silly (For example, I’ve been working on the idea “proving” that some of the best video games ever made are horrible.) It’s not supposed to be taken as gospel, it’s entertainment. I really hope you stick around long enough to see what else we can come up with.

      Thanks for taking the time to comment, I sincerely mean that. We do try to read every comment, and while we want to keep writing our way, we do want to make sure we’re meeting your demands. You guys are the people we have to answer to, not our sponsors. Without you, none of this would be possible.

  • thomaspainelives

    The Artist sucked big time. Nothing of interest in it.

  • ama

    i actually hated all these movies ……

  • Steve Smith

    what does it say that i only heard of 1 of the movies on this list?

  • http://twitter.com/sage80_rocker Steve Golac

    Argo was overrated. Ok, but overrated.

  • http://twitter.com/sage80_rocker Steve Golac

    Pretty sure you don’t have to be a cynical hater not to watch zack braff emo barffest.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brent.killian1 Brent Killian

    Never seen any of these movies. Princess Bride is missing and should be on this list because it was the greatest movie ever created.

  • unclefatheroscar

    “it… tastes kinda like sad”

  • bob

    Worst. List .Ever.

  • Scott

    To be honest I’ve never seen any of these films.

  • rowan

    ive seen all of these, garden state was the best one of them all, the rest sucked

  • http://www.facebook.com/gshauger Geoffrey Shauger

    garden state is pretentious nonsense

  • http://www.facebook.com/gshauger Geoffrey Shauger

    garden state is pretentious nonsense

  • http://twitter.com/OhDaavey David

    What a terrible list, surely an april fools joke?

  • Cactus

    While I guffawed quite heavily at this list, I am more than happy to not see It’s A Wonderful Life listed.

  • TheROUSes

    Argo was sooooo by-the-numbers. There was like no excitement really. It was just, Affleck – “We’ll do this for our plan.” Guy 1 – “I don’t wanna.” Guy 2 – It will work, so do it. Guy 1 – “OK.”. Then…..THE END.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tara.hockensmith Tara Hockensmith

    What about the Pixar movie “Up”? That’s comedy and drama, and I can’t imagine anyone hating it. But maybe that’s just me…

  • jklj

    whoever wrote this is an idiot. The majority of these movies will be forgotten by most in a few years or have already been forgotten. The one classic in the bunch is Singin in the Rain which has transcended to the point that even people who have not seen it are familiar with it. What a bunch of garbage. Also I personally hated The Artist.

  • jklj

    whoever wrote this is an idiot. The majority of these movies will be forgotten by most in a few years or have already been forgotten. The one classic in the bunch is Singin in the Rain which has transcended to the point that even people who have not seen it are familiar with it. What a bunch of garbage. Also I personally hated The Artist.

  • mindodyssey

    you seriously just wrote that you know a good amount of people who don’t like this movie in a column about how unhateable these movies are? maybe you missed the point of your whole post.

  • AJ

    I love Singing in the Rain. I’ve seen High Fidelity, and it was ok-ish, but though I like Cusack, he was pretty much a jerk throughout and difficult to like in this one. Woody Allen gives me the creeps, so no thanks, and I’ve never seen any of these other films, and after reading about them in the comment, i dont really want to. especially Argo- enough of the world thinks we Americans are egocentric and arrogant. I don’t feel like adding to that sentiment by advocating a movie that takes credit for another country’s actions. I loved Enchanted, but that picture was a total bait-and-switch. Not really feeling this list :/

  • Sen

    I hate Argo and The Artist, and while I haven’t seen Garden State or Happy-Go-Lucky I know plenty of people who hate those films, too. I guess my friends and I are all bitter and cynical.

  • fuck

    Garden State? Really?

  • James

    ARGO is just stupid american-propaganda.
    They end up happily together with the cliche-music and everything and THEN we read it’s an EXAMPLE of cooperation between countries when it started showing us that everything started because of the intervention of the US and the UK in the first place??!!!

  • James

    ARGO is just stupid american-propaganda.
    They end up happily together with the cliche-music and everything and THEN we read it’s an EXAMPLE of cooperation between countries when it started showing us that everything started because of the intervention of the US and the UK in the first place??!!!

  • James

    ARGO is just stupid american-propaganda.
    They end up happily together with the cliche-music and everything and THEN we read it’s an EXAMPLE of cooperation between countries when it started showing us that everything started because of the intervention of the US and the UK in the first place??!!!

  • Dusty Haynes

    You put thought into this list, but I hate half of these movies so count me as cynical and bitter.

  • Kevin Snell

    It’s hard to hate movies that many people have never seen.

  • Kevin Snell

    It’s hard to hate movies that many people have never seen.

  • http://www.facebook.com/vini.almada Vinicius Almada

    Ok… this is a Trap… Argo as nº2 must-not-hate? I guess I´m the bitter dude…

  • http://www.facebook.com/timothy.takemoto Timothy Takemoto
  • mgm721

    I loved Almost Famous.. one of my all time favorite movies

  • http://www.facebook.com/williamglenn.early William Glenn Early

    The Princess Bride did not make your list. Your list is invalid.

  • http://www.facebook.com/williamglenn.early William Glenn Early

    The Princess Bride did not make your list. Your list is invalid.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kendiether.munar Ken Diether Binueza Munar

    Hot Fuzz? Shaun Of The Dead? Fast Five?

  • nikki

    Argo?I just love to hate this film.False depiction of the event with a ridiculous climax.Anyone who watch this will surely start hating Iran and Iranians.I think this was the main purpose of the film.Who would like such a film?I think a cynical and a bitter person like you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/emile.vanniekerk.3 Emile van Niekerk

    Uh…hello. Where the hell is Amelie? It’s the first film I expected on this list and it’s not there. Nobody, but nobody, can possibly hate Amelie.

  • chiffmonkey

    The only film you even mentioned that I liked was the Kings Speech and evidently you hated it, bloody hipster. Want a happy, fun and satisfying film? Watch Flash Gordon.

  • David Fullam

    Not bitter or cynical, just someone with taste. Most of the films on this list are garbage.

  • enzofloc

    9: Groundhog Day,
    10:Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion

  • korichneveygigant

    Argo? seriously?

  • http://twitter.com/markorealmonte marko realmonte

    No Princess Bride? Inconceivable! Darren, you’re a tool. E.T.? Fantastic Mr. Fox? Juno? Edward Scissorhands? Field of Dreams? Young Frankenstein? Kiddo, you need to see more movies…Argo, sheesh.

  • MangosRgreat

    I’m so glad I went down and read the comments just so I know I’m not alone…I feel the exact same way…

    P.S.

    FUCK GARDEN STATE..Intellectually void garbage.

  • MitchMontoya

    I didn’t hate the movie Argo but I hated its xenophobia and the way it represented CIA as historical heroes and Iran as the bad guys. In the actual geo political context, I thought there was no need to make a movie like this one, emphasizing cultural gap between nations… and this got the oscar.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-James-Halonen/1346851497 Michael James Halonen

    well I have only saw 3 of theses & would consider the other ones garbage I would not waste my time on so think writer should realize we all dont like crap movies

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-James-Halonen/1346851497 Michael James Halonen

    well I have only saw 3 of theses & would consider the other ones garbage I would not waste my time on so think writer should realize we all dont like crap movies

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-James-Halonen/1346851497 Michael James Halonen

    well I have only saw 3 of theses & would consider the other ones garbage I would not waste my time on so think writer should realize we all dont like crap movies

  • Ashmic

    shitty list

  • Rob White

    Dear god, what an awful list. You even included a movie that you admit people will hate (Argo did, and for good reason, piss off Canadians because the movie pulled a U-572, and rewrote history to make it look like Americans did something that they didn’t; I guess Americans are too insecure or insular to watch anything that isn’t about them).
    As for the rest of the list, well, the whole article is just a bad idea. The idea that there can be a piece of art that is impossible to hate is foolish. One could go so far to say that if its something no one could hate that it isn’t very good to begin with.

  • Emma

    God happy go lucky…are you serious? Sorry but this film bored me to tears!

  • RandomUser

    I wasn’t even interested enough in more than half of these titles to even watch them.

    1) The Artist- Didn’t see it.

    2) Argo- Didn’t see it

    3) Almost Famous- Didn’t see it.

    4) Everyone Says I Love You- Didn’t see it. As a rule I can’t stand Woddy Allen. Simply don’t find the man remotely funny and I don’t understand why anyone does. Don’t care for most musicals either.

    5) High Fidelity- I’ve not watched the entire movie but what I have seen of it completely turned me off. I hated all of the characters. As you said- pretty douchey

    6) Garden State- No… just, no.

    7) Singin’ in the Rain- Haven’t seen it, but then I avoid musicals whenever possible. The closest thing to a musical that I’d been habitually exposed to were Disney films because I have a kid.

    8) Happy-Go-Lucky- Again never saw it.

  • Oli

    Are you a homophobe stuck down a well?