Thanksgiving is a time for good things: Good food, good company, good laughs.
And so, letâs take a look at some of the best turkey-centric goofs and gags for 2023. Theyâre so good, youâll gobble them up! Theyâre sure to elicit a Pil-grin! Theyâll have you laughing whether youâre sober as a priest, or cranberry sauced!
Additionally, with the understanding that comedy is subjective and doesnât always age gracefully, weâve included historical discussion points underneath each joke in the hopes of starting a thoughtful dialogue. Gobble gobble!
If the Mayflower brought the Pilgrims, what brought their dogs? The Collie-flower!
What makes this joke so fun is that it tiptoes right up to the edge, then pulls back right before it goes too far. It’s like a Lily Tomlin special, or the first half of Bill Maher saying something.
What do you call the ghost of a turkey? A poultry-geist!
First introduced in the since-banned liner notes from Sam Kinisonâs 1988 album Have You Seen Me Lately?, this classic slice of shock comedy was banned in 46 out of 48 states in the continental U.S. for being too explicit.
Why are turkeys always grumbling? Theyâre in a fowl mood!
Originally written as a tag for George Carlinâs âSeven Words You Canât Say on Television,â this joke was cut from the final draft for fear that the provocateur would be arrested for lude and lascivious conduct.
What kind of dessert sticks to the wall? Pie-der Man!
This line got Lenny Bruce arrested at the Gate of Horn folk club in Chicago on December 5, 1962.
What do you call roasted vegetables that run from the kitchen to the table? Hustle Sprouts!
In 1942, at the height of his stardom, Jack Benny financed and starred in a fully-produced motion picture adaptation of this joke. His father, concerned with the subject matter and how it might affect the publicâs perception of the war in Europe, at first refused to attend the picture, calling it âsenselessâ and âdamaging.â After some gentle cajoling, he was convinced to attend a \screening, and soon became Hustle Sproutsâ biggest fan, seeing it over a dozen times and calling it one of the most effective pieces of wartime satire heâd ever witnessed.
Has this meat juice been listening to Joe Rogan? Itâs so baste!
For anyone that thinks Gen Z has killed comedy by being âtoo sensitive,â check and mate.
How did the turkey get to Thanksgiving? He rode the gravy train!
Louis Alfred Székely is remembered for a lot of things these days, but perhaps nothing more than his âTurkeys ride a gravy trainâ routine, which won him two of his three Peabody awards.
Why did the turkeyâs dad make him eat nothing but stale bread? To stuffinâ him up!
It is a common misconception that Oscar Wildeâs incarceration on charges of gross indecency were tied to his romantic trysts. In truth, the accusations stemmed from Wildeâs use of the joke âWhy did the turkeyâs dad make him eat nothing but stale bread? To stuffinâ him up!â as the first-draft dramatic climax of The Importance of Being Earnest. The joke, left for Wilde on a calling card by the Marquess of Queensbury, was deemed âdamaging to the public interest,â and Wilde was sentenced to an existence of âhard labor, hard fare and a hard bed.â His time in prison had a profound effect on the writer, but he never stopped weaving golden strands of Thanksgiving comedy into his observations on everyday life. On November 30 of 1900, he is said to have stated âTake the wallpaper or leave it, itâs all gravy to meâ before dying of meningitis.
Why did the turkey cross the road? He was trying to convince people he was a chicken!
Pressured via threats of legal action by Decca Records to release one more single before terminating their contract, the Rolling Stones begrudgingly wrote âSchoolboy Blues,â a purposely puerile, borderline-atonal symphony of the offensive. The original recording was made up almost entirely of the above joke, until Keith Richards pointed out that they had gone too far this time. Prints of the first cut, published exclusively in West Germany, remain a highly sought-after collectorâs item to this day.
These used to be plain old cranberries. Now, theyâre a flying sauce-er! (throw cranberry sauce across the room)
This oneâs good because it gets you out of having to go to Thanksgiving with your new boyfriendâs family ever again.
Published: Nov 18, 2023 07:09 pm