Marjorie Taylor Greene pauses Trump assassination claim to scratch Donald’s back, so, you know, gag me with a stick

With the way MAGAs like Marjorie Taylor Greene have been wailing on about it, you’d think Joe Biden hired Ezio Auditore to sneak into Donald Trump‘s home in the middle of the night.

Or, more typical to the Assassin’s Creed protagonist’s style, to leap from a rooftop in broad daylight, knives bared, shouting Trump’s crimes for the world to hear. Unfortunately for those of us who see Trump’s crimes as easily on par with the Borgias, that’s not even close to the truth that’s spurring claims of an “assassination attempt” from the far-right’s most brainless members. The supposed “assassination” at the core of their hazy-eyed rantings was, instead, an FBI-led (and entirely legal) proceeding that in no way threatened the former president’s life.

The utterly overblown claims stemming from the likes of Greene are referencing an event that happened months ago, when authorities raided Mar-a-Lago. When President Joe Biden gave the FBI the green light to raid Trump’s favorite haunt, he also granted them leave to use deadly force if need be. Trump’s sycophants are hard at work warping that move into an attempted assassination of Trump, and breezily ignoring the very real threat that their orange-tinted leader presents.

No one suspects that Trump presents an actual threat to the FBI, but everyone with a brain is well aware of how uncooperative the man has been. He gleefully incited an insurrection on our nation’s Capitol, don’t forget, so it’s extremely understandable why the authorities would require every allowance, just in case Donny boy decided to push back. He didn’t, and thus that allowance was unnecessary, but it’s Trump’s own history that provided clear precedent for why the move was needed.

Despite this fact, gutter monster Greene and her ilk have brazenly warped the action into an absurd lie — that Joe Biden attempted to assassinate a former president. It’s in no way true, and literally anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see that, but unfortunately Trump and Greene don’t fall into that camp.

As a result, Greene’s been on the assassination train since the news broke, working hard to rewrite history. She’s been trumpeting the absurd claim from every rooftop possible, brazenly stating that “The Biden DOJ and FBI were planning to assassinate Pres Trump and gave the green light.” Let’s hope she stretched before attempting that reach.

Despite the foaming rabidity with which Greene’s latched onto the story, even she finds occasional time to lick Trump’s boots. Even without a spot on his VP list, Greene will do literally anything for a single second’s worth of Trump’s attention, so she took a brief break from caterwauling about the non-assassination attempt to instead praise the mindless MAGA monarch.

Greene took to X to share an endorsement from Trump, all while promising the disgraced one-term president that she’ll “always” have his back. She followed it up with a demand for “FOUR MORE YEARS” in Trump’s classic all-caps style, scarring users everywhere by including an eye-melting image of her and Trump smirking at the camera.

We’ve been in this political miasma since Trump first rode that escalator down, so it can seem commonplace, at this point, to see such utterly incompetent people rattle off lies with no remorse. But this is not normal. It’s not okay, and it’s not something that we, the American people, should allow to continue. We are the only people that stand between Greene, Trump, and the “unified reich” they dream of, and if we don’t stop them now, it’s likely that they’ll never give us the chance again.