Latest Political Tea: Decrepit Don does the maybe-dementia dance before partnering with Vance on ‘Dumb and Dumber Live’

Happy Friday, political animals! How insanely bonkers has this week been? I don’t know about you, but at We Got This Covered, we’ve been elbow-deep — yes, that’s all 10 wiggly fingers — in the slimy content swamp, fishing out the most ridiculous political stories of the week just for you! It’s a messy job, but someone’s gotta do it.

If you’re reading this, congrats! You’ve officially joined the ranks of the politically and morbidly curious. And since you’re clearly a glutton for punishment, why not share the pain? Forward this newsletter to your favorite masochist, your enemies, your second cousin twice removed, your awful neighbor who won’t mow his lawn, and let them all in on the fun. Misery loves company, after all.

This week, that misery came in the form of politicians bending over backwards to out-embarrass each other. On a scale of 1 to “what the actual heck,” we’re hovering around a solid 7.5 ⏤ and that’s being generous. (If only our editor allowed negative numbers.) Without further ado, here are the most ridiculous political happenings that made headlines this week.

Toddler Trump’s dance bonanza gets him blacklisted by yet another artist

There are so many words to describe Donald Trump — egotistical, braggart, pathetic, failure, felon, fraud — but “weird” might still fit him best. The man is weirder than Carrot Top on a sugar high, and no example demonstrates that better than a recent town hall. The absolute buffoon chose to ditch the Q&A portion of the evening — who needs to answer voter questions when the election is still weeks out? — and invited his followers to just… vibe and listen to music? Like a try-hard teenager, Trump swayed awkwardly on the stage alongside a bewildered and agitated Kristi Noem as various disjointed songs replaced actual political discourse. 

In the aftermath, genuine concern replaced humor as people openly wondered how accurate that “Dementia Don” nickname is. Concerns over sundowning, a condition related to dementia, quickly spread, but most people were more focused on Rufus Wainwright soundly denouncing the use of his song in Trump’s impromptu dance party.

Trump proves that he knows as much about voting as he does hurricanes, Ohio, and the English language

A strangely bulky portion of the Republican voter base hangs on Donald Trump’s every word, and it might just lose him the 2024 election. Okay, probably not, but a girl can dream. It’s not likely to determine the results of the election, but Trump likely did lose at least a few voters on Oct. 14, and no, it was not thanks to his terrible dance moves. The culprit was actually a scatterbrained moment in which the former president urged his followers to go out and vote… on January 5. 

That’s not when voting happens, but who’s going to correct the world’s most petulant politician? It’s clear that Trump mixed up actual voting day — which is on November 5 — and insurrection day, which fell on Jan. 6, 2021. His smooth brain just combined the dates into one, and if it leads to a few extra lines at those Jan. 5 polls, you can trust that we’ll be scratching our heads over how gullible his followers are.

To get the rest of the tea ⏤ namely, Trump and Vance going full-blown Dumb and Dumber, Kamala’s alleged allergies, and a possible MAGA plot straight out of House of Cards ⏤ be sure to sign up for WGTC’s They Said What?! Newsletter.