The scene: A near distant future where the zombie apocalypse has finally overtaken humanity, creating a gutted version of Earth that only knows death and decay. Be it December 2012, or 2212, horror films have finally become reality. More than three-quarters of the population have turned, but your hardened group of survivors have held out thus far, making ends meet along your challenging journey.
So here you are, fortifying a dilapidated farm house as best you can, with only some shoddy wooden structure between you and a horde of undead beasties. Keeping quiet, you pray the horde passes by without noticing your group huddled inside the war-torn house, until that one asshole in the bunch just has to move and knock over something stupid like an empty can or something equally as noisy – it never fails. Of course a few walkers here it, surround the house, and start banging on the structure in an attempt to force their way inside. You try to take a few out quickly, slipping a machete through the cracks and slicing into zombie brains like a warm knife through butter, covering the outside with a reddish mist, but still can see countless waves of walkers meandering slowly over to join the siege on your once humble abode. Windows start breaking, rotting arms start reaching in, beams of light pierce the splintered wood where the pounding has become heavier – yeah, it’s all or nothing time. You know the house is barely standing, as do your comrades, and in an unspoken agreement, you all know the task at hand – time to go “Wolvie-berserk style” and hope for the best.
But just as you’re about to weapon up and go apeshit, you see your almost dead iPod laying on the table (for this article’s sake, we’ll say you had a generator running at some point and could charge up some). Knowing full well this might be your last hoorah, and intrigued by the possible adrenaline boost, you pick it up and pop in your ear buds (like how Jessica Biel grooves out while killing vampires in Blade: Trinity). But now the problem – how do you pick what to listen to?! This could be your last tango, last stand, last chance to prove your worth! You need music fitting of the situation, and motivational enough to transform yourself into one zombie killing warrior badass.
Thankfully, Remy and I have prepared for this, already having finalized and synched up our end of the world playlists, which we’ll share for inspiration while you reflect on the scenario and create your own, because, hell, why not be prepared for the worst?
Remy’s APOCALYPSE PLAYLIST
I have spent way too much time imagining what the end of the world would be like to pretend that I don’t have my end of the world mix already, because I do. I mean, if you imagine an end of the world scenario, how can you imagine not having an iPod loaded up with all the best jams to help you cave in the skulls of potential pursuers? For my APOCALYPSE PLAYLIST, I have what I like to consider a very balanced set of songs. Some of these you listen to when you are fighting for your life against a hoard of post-apocalyptic mutants. Some of these you put on when you have long stretches of walking to do, just to keep you going and help keep your eye on your end goal, whatever that may be. Some of these are for when you miss your family or friends, and you just want to look at the sky and let a tear fall from your eye.
The fact of the matter is, I know a great deal of people with much more official jobs than me, and they are beginning to hoard food and weapons, which (genuinely) leads me to believe that there may be something big and bad on the horizon, set to happen soon. Even the government has begun setting up “fake zombie drills” that would help aid people in what they should do in a situation like that. So basically, the end of the world is coming, whether you like it or not. The least we can do is provide you with a set list to get through that disaster with the most efficacy.
Here’s my take on some songs which would make up my APOCALYPSE PLAYLIST, and let’s just hope I last a little longer so I can flip the old iPod on Shuffle and get a few last-minute surprises in.
Lock, load, and kick out the jams people. Shit’s about to get mad real.
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Published: Nov 8, 2012 11:36 am