Reed Tucker at the New York Post said "it washes up on the beach like a dead whale." Katie Walsh at the Tribune News Service accused it of being "directed incompetently" and our own Matt Donato labelled it "bloated to a point where no push-ups or dietary restrictions can help." Currently sitting pretty at 19% on Rotten Tomatoes, it looks as though Seth Gordon's Baywatch is a cinematic shit sandwich (though sadly, it's likely to be an extremely profitable shit sandwich).