In the ultimate confirmation that we now reside in the worst timeline, former president and current billionaire Donald J. Trump is seeking to pay his legal fees through the word of God.
The disgraced politician, seeking any avenue available to help pay his mounting legal fees and campaign costs, announced his new venture in late March via a post to Truth Social. Despite the fact that he recently claimed to have upwards of $500 million in cash, the 77-year-old Trump is struggling to pay his legal fees, and that’s with a late-March reduction in his bond. The amount Trump is expected to pay, ahead of pending appeals, was reduced by more than half to $175 million, but apparently even that is too much to ask.
Which led the former president to announce the release of a Trump-endorsed, USA-themed bible, proceeds from which will contribute to paying for Trump’s campaign and his endless legal fees. The specialty bible comes at a hefty price, but includes several exhaustingly American add-ons that equal out to a hugely exploitative — and thus flawlessly Trumpian — bit of blasphemy.
Trump’s “God Bless the USA” bibles
Regular bibles typically run a purchaser between $20 or so and $50 or so, but Trump’s “God Bless the USA” bibles are a bit pricer. They’re selling for $59.99, and come with several additions that make the entire endeavor all the more dystopian. As a specifically American-themed bible, Trump’s expensive, leather-bound version comes with several states-specific inclusions, including a copy of the U.S. Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights, and what bible would be complete with out the Pledge of Allegiance?
These add-ons, which can be found for free on the internet, are apparently enough to excuse the bible’s extra cost. They’re also enough to make it somehow both excessively patriotic, and utterly un-American. Our constitution — you know, that thing shoved in at the end of this depraved purchase — emphasizes the separation of church and state in its very first amendment, yet this horrific book blatantly combines the two, and considers itself more American for it.
This book should be offensive to literally anyone. For Christians outside of the United States, it is a disgustingly obvious manipulation tactic aimed at people who see religion and Americanism as one and the same, and in the States, it spits on the very tenets it includes within its bindings. It is nothing but another money-grubbing scheme from one of America’s most famous criminals, and it physically pains me to acknowledge that it will likely sell like hot cakes among his base. God help us all.
