Comic book fans love a good old-fashioned hero vs. hero showdown. Just look at Captain America fighting Iron Man throughout Marvel’s Civil War. Let’s not forget Wolverine sinking his adamantium claws into the Hulk’s gamma-radiated flesh. (Come on Feige, give us this showdown on the silver screen before Jackman hangs up the claws for good!)
And, of course, we have to mention the champion and king of all who-would-win hypothetical match-ups: Batman vs. Superman. Fans have debated this showdown on the message boards since the dawn of time (that’s just slight hyperbole). In all seriousness, fans have seen Batman take down the Man of Steel in Frank Miller’s iconic The Dark Knight Returns. They also watched Ben Affleck beat Henry Cavill bloody in Zack Snyder’s 2016 Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.
This means that when it comes to Batman versus, well, any other caped do-gooder, Dark Knight fans tend to get very, very confident, and there’s good reason for that. Aside from conquering Superman on multiple occasions, Batman boasts a superb intellect and has billions and billions of dollars at his disposal. This makes Bruce Wayne quite a formidable foe for anyone in the boardroom or on the streets. Add to that his supreme conditioning, mastery of fighting, and deep love for terrifying theatrics, and… well, you can see why Gotham criminals have problems sleeping at night.
So, let’s bring up another superhero that would give Batman fits and probably slap him around all over Gotham. Let’s talk about Spider-Man! Specifically, let’s dissect what would happen if the Dark Knight tangled with everyone’s favorite wallcrawler.
First off, Spider-Man is strong, very strong
For whatever reason, even the most diehard comic fan — me included — consistently forgets how strong Spider-Man is. Maybe it’s because most of his adventures deal with him fighting crime at the street level. Perhaps it’s because he’s such a lovable, wisecracking goofball that readers and fans tend to forget he could crush someone’s skull with a simple slap. Seriously, according to Marvel themselves, Spider-Man can “lift nearly ten tons.”
Simply put, Spider-Man fights to the level of his opponents. If his foes are a trio of random robbers holding up a Brooklyn bank, he’ll be brawling with a tiny fraction of his strength. Unless he’s fighting someone seriously super-powered, Aunt May’s baby boy nearly always pulls his punches. For example, remember 2018’s Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse? Remember in the beginning when Chris Pine’s Spider-Man — side note: Pine did a tremendous job; we hope to hear him voice Spidey again! — was getting whooped on by the Prowler? It looked like the wallcrawler was simply getting outclassed by a better fighter until he literally stopped a massive whirring machine with one hand. Seriously, go back and re-watch that scene; it perfectly illustrates just how much Spider-Man holds back during his fights.
Now, holding back against an everyday criminal is one thing. But holding back against Batman- that’s a disaster waiting to happen. Just ask Superman!
While Spidey wouldn’t have to worry about being physically disadvantaged against a grown man in a bat costume, he would be dealing with an enemy with a looser moral code than him. The main disadvantage Spider-Man would have in a duel against the Dark Knight is his morality. Peter Parker is a goody-two-shoes in his most classic iterations — much like Clark Kent — he doesn’t like fighting dirty. This would be a huge burden in a battle with Batman. It could minimize Spider-Man’s tactics and force him to fight in a more linear and predictable pattern. And we all know Batman is good at recognizing patterns; for crying out loud, the lunatic goes after impossibly hidden Riddler trophies in his free time!
Peter’s good-natured character outweighs his will to win. This helps Batman tremendously. While the face of Marvel may have the physical abilities to easily win on paper, you still have to give Batman the mental edge thanks to his grittiness and more no-holds-barred style. It’s like he narrated when he battled Superman in the first Hush comics: “Deep down, Clark’s essentially a good person… and deep down, I’m not.” The early 2000s cringe edgelord narration aside, this does kind of summarize why Batman is continuously able to defeat heroes so much more powerful than him. But against Spidey, it would be a different ballgame, and Batsy would need a whole lot of planning.
With a lot of planning, Batman could maybe squeak out a victory, maybe
As shown in the JLA: Tower of Babel comic book storyline, and in the 2012 animated adaptation Justice League: Doom, Batman is a little bit of a planner. He always loves to have a contingency plan for the worst possible outcomes. Even if you’re one of his best friends, it’s in his nature to size you up, measure your strengths, and more importantly – gauge your weaknesses. Should worst come to worst, this plan will be implemented to bring you all the way down.
As shown in the comics and the 2012 film, these plans are diabolically intricate and precise. In both stories, villains get hold of Batman’s plans and use them to take down the likes of Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner in the comics and Hal Jordan in the film), and Martian Manhunter. In the comics, Batman uses some of Scarecrow’s fear toxin to make Aquaman terrified of water. That is some cold-blooded stuff.
These storylines do a tremendous job of portraying just how terrifying of an opponent Batman can be. He is a master at examining every facet of his opponent’s skillset. To say he’s a master strategist would still be underselling just how much Batman breaks his enemies down. Given enough time, the Dark Knight can find a solution to any problem and foe.
However, that’s the caveat, isn’t it? Batman’s plans in Tower of Babel and Doom were the product and results of long, long, arduous planning. Heck, even in Dawn of Justice — which takes place eighteen months after Man of Steel — Bruce Wayne has to work his butt off obtaining the Kryptonite and formulating a way to take down Superman. What happens if he doesn’t have the time? What happens, let’s say, if he randomly encounters a crimson-and-blue garbed, wall-crawling, web-swinging loudmouth that mistakes the Dark Knight for a psychopathic criminal? (Which, let’s be honest…)
Against Spider-Man, with no planning, Batman would be up against an opponent who is stronger and faster — understatement of the century — and can shoot out webs “that have the tensile strength of 120lb per square millimeter, and enable him to web swing at over 120 miles per hour” (per Old School Gamers). On top of this, Batman would be fighting an opponent whose intellect rivals his own. The argument can be made that Peter Parker is a scientist first and a superhero second. For decades, he has been forced into situations where he has to rely on his brains over his brawn. Spider-Man: No Way Home saw three different Peter Parkers relying on their intelligence to bring down the big bads. Even against Doctor freaking Strange — Earth’s mightiest sorcerer — Peter #1 beat magic itself with simple math. (Okay, not simple, but you get the point.)
And on top of that, Spider-Man’s Spider-Sense would be a hellacious nightmare for Batman to deal with the first time around. While the Spider-Sense could actually be used against Peter, look no further than Iron Man overriding that ability and beating Spidey to a pulp in Civil War, this would still require planning ahead of time. In a random first-time encounter with no prior knowledge of Spider-Man’s powers, Batman is going to get mighty confused when he can’t pull off any tricks or surprises on the wallcrawler. And unless he has those ridiculously overpowered shock gloves from Arkham: Origins, his punches and kicks ain’t gonna do squat.
Spider-Man beats Batman the first and second time, but he better avoid the trilogy
In conclusion, Spider-Man can crush Batman’s bones in a heartbeat. Just like Superman, Spidey could make the Dark Knight his personal brush and paint the streets of Gotham crimson if he really wanted to. It doesn’t matter how many anti-spider repellents or gizmos Batman has in his utility belt; a Spider-Man with zero morals destroys the Caped Crusader and makes a certain English butler very, very sad.
However, since we are talking about the classic good-natured Spider-Man who doesn’t like going all out, then we know for a fact Peter Parker isn’t going to want to squish Batman’s skull like a rotten melon. This gives the billionaire a chance. It’s not a great chance, but it’s still a chance. (Batman better pray he never encounters Spidey’s ultimate Bully Maguire form.)
The advantage is in Spider-Man’s court, at least for the first couple of fights. Say if this hypothetical bout occurred once; Spider-Man gets pulled into the DC realm for nineteen minutes and sixty-two seconds and has to battle Batman because some Beyonder-like figure demands it. Spidey wins. And if this happens again, then the web-head can probably edge out another victory against the Dark Knight. However, the longer Batman has to prepare, and the more chances he gets to study Spider-Man’s abilities, especially that tingly Spider-Sense of his, then Mr. Great Responsibility will be in for a long — and dark — night.
