12 Video Game Amusement Parks That We’d Never Visit

Bad, worse, and all kinds of awful, we take a look at these twelve video game amusement parks that aren’t half as amusing as they might seem.

Lakeside Amusement Park (Silent Hill Series)

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If you’re looking for a break from reality, then Silent Hill’s Lakeside Amusement Park has plenty to take your mind off of your troubles. It hosts a variety of family friendly attractions: an outdoor water ride, death-defying roller coasters, a haunted house and just one, murderously sentient carousel. Its spine-tingling atmosphere isn’t any more inviting, and that’s probably because the haunted house bit is overkill in a park full of gaseous zombie horses.

As one of the series’ recurring destinations, Lakeside is only more unpredictable the longer you stay in it – so much so that what’s real and what’s not might very well be in question.

Krazy Kremland (Donkey Kong Land 2)

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“Do, or do not. There is no try,” a Jedi master wiser than I once said, and boy does Krazy Kremland try to troll its visitors in the worst ways it knows how.

Created by King. K. Rool as a getaway for his off-duty henchmen, Krazy Kremland is worse news than its owner – that is, if riding around in a skull cart wasn’t your first clue. The place is chock full of monsters and hives of zingers – and not the funny kind.

It’s a darn shame, because at first glance, Hornet Hole, Rickety Race and Bramble Scramble might all sound like standard park ride fare if they didn’t describe their probable cause of death. That there are no lines to speak of probably indicates how popular this place must be among K. Rool’s crew, but maybe that’s why there’s no such things as mandatory company meetings in a monarchy.


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Author
Tim Gruver
From the time he sat down to play Super Mario Bros. on his sisters' NES one afternoon, video-games would entice Tim's mind like the One Ring to Gollum. He believes video games are art and that Okami and Shadow of the Colossus are among them. You can find him on Twitter pontificating on life and its oddities.