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12 Video Game Amusement Parks That We’d Never Visit

Bad, worse, and all kinds of awful, we take a look at these twelve video game amusement parks that aren’t half as amusing as they might seem.
Image of Tim Gruver
Tim Gruver
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Published: Nov 11, 2015 03:16 pm

This article is over 9 years old and may contain outdated information

Ryan Amusements (Bioshock 2)

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Andrew Ryan would have you believe that scaring small children is entirely educational, and Ryan Amusements attempts just that. Built to educate the citizens of Rapture about the horrors of the surface world, the park is one big, fire and brimstone speech of maniacal proportion decked out with all your favorite touristy amenities.

Part drugstore, part gift shop, and part museum to the evils of statism, it’s the perfect place to kick back, relax, and enjoy a gene-splicing tonic with the family as you take in some mildly terrifying political theater. In addition, its starring attraction, “Journey to the Surface World,” is an interactive sermon about the literal long arm of the law coming to snatch you from your living room complete with horrifying automatons dressed in ‘50s suit jackets.

That’s exactly the wrong way to spend the day with the kids, and probably the worst conversation starter on the car ride home.

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Image of Tim Gruver
Tim Gruver
From the time he sat down to play Super Mario Bros. on his sisters' NES one afternoon, video-games would entice Tim's mind like the One Ring to Gollum. He believes video games are art and that Okami and Shadow of the Colossus are among them. You can find him on Twitter pontificating on life and its oddities.
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