7 Video Games That Have Terrible, Terrible Artificial Intelligence

6) Dead Rising (2006)

Nothing strikes fear into the heart of a gamer more than the words ‘escort mission.’ But being tasked with protecting another character whilst you drag them through a level is not a crime in itself. Plenty of games have done an exceptional job of it (such as PlayStation masterpiece Ico). However, these games are completely outweighed by games that have you biting the back of you hand in frustration.

I’m talking about games such as Dead Rising, where the characters you’re encumbered with can merrily wander into a seething nest of zombies, get stuck in knee-high water fountains, or generally behave like they have less brain function than the undead monsters they’re supposed to be avoiding. The absolute worst part is even after you’ve torn out your last clump of hair getting them to safety, they never really seem that grateful. How hard can it be to program a bit of gratitude? I mean, the developers did find time to program in “Erotica” points for taking photos of female zombies’ breasts, so, you know…

Still, so poxy and unsuccessful where these escort missions, in fact, that Capcom finally admitted defeat and completely revamped them for their most recent sequel, stating the are no longer just “babysitting” missions. It almost worked, too. Points for trying.