7 Video Games That Have Terrible, Terrible Artificial Intelligence

5) Hitman: Blood Money (2006)

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The Hitman series is good for exactly two reasons. One, you play as a hitman and two, you get to wear a nice suit. That’s more or less the bread and butter of the entire franchise, too. I’ll be damned if I could tell you anything about the “plot,” and I certainly couldn’t name any other character than Agent 47 (which isn’t even a name anyway).

But it’s cool because you get to slope around mini sandboxes dressed as a chicken or whatever and try and kill people in hilarious ways. The AI reacts totally believably, too, which keeps you immersed in the experience. No wait, I don’t mean ‘believably’ do I? I mean ‘completely idiotically.’

We can just about forgive the developers for the decision to allow non-player characters to immediately forget who you are because you have a different shirt on, but we maybe can’t forgive them for giving them superhuman senses to compensate for their dodgy eyesight. Fire one bullet into someone’s head and your position is instantly swamped by 50 other agents who all heard it from the other side of busy nightclub, for example.

They only seem to have one response level too, which is ‘fire gun at stranger.’ Maybe if they just politely asked me to leave, I would. Manners cost nothing.