5 Things I Seriously Hope We Get From Grand Theft Auto V

This will be the most cliche thing on the list, as in, most other sites and gamer journalists have spoken about this too, but the cell phone in Grand Theft Auto IV ruined the game entirely. The best part about a GTA game is how detached from life it makes you feel. All the stresses of regular life seem to dissipate when you go into a GTA game for the exact reason of NOT having a phone. No one to call and harass you. No friends to call you and bust your balls. No girlfriends to call you and bitch you out for not coming around. No, it was just a world that was open to whatever anarchy you chose to subject it to.

But then, the cell phone happens in GTA IV, and suddenly, anytime I trying to drive around and kill hookers or steal some sick bikes and attempt to do some stunt jumps, my f*cking virtual phone is ringing off the hook, and everyone who isn’t bolted down wants to go play darts with me, and if I don’t play darts or get distracted on the way to get them, they call me back, bitch me out, and in some cases, cut me out of their lives. WHAT? This is a GTA game. I play this specifically to NOT deal with that bullshit I deal with in my regular life, and suddenly, I cannot escape it here, either.

F*ck that noise.

The phone was enough to literally make me stop playing GTA IV before I beat it. It was cool and realistic that your missions and GPS were structured through the phone, but the actual execution of the phone sucked, and in the process, sucked the fun out of the game. Okay, so you can keep the phone if you do it right, but please, take care of the next one on the list….