Grand Theft Auto VÂ is now available, which very well could mean that by the time you are reading this, you could already be playing it. Do you realize that even though I am speaking 100% hypothetically, I am still envious of you at this exact moment? I don’t actually have the game yet, and realistically, you may not either, yet I am jealous knowing you could. Sad, huh?
In theory, knowing you could already have it makes me hate you, which is a really insane theory, but still, wouldn’t you hate me if you knew I was playing it already? If you knew all the awesome shit I was doing? Knowing I was openly switching between the three characters? Knowing I could go anywhere in the game map the minute the game begins? Would you be seething with jealousy if you knew I was doing that right now? Well, that is how I feel.
Until I do get my hands on the game, all I have are my amazing memories of the entire GTA series. The absolutely insane memories of stunt-jumping over a construction site in slow motion. Or having to take lascivious pictures of a very questionable man. Or the hours I spent, just driving and helplessly killing thousands of pedestrians until an obscene amount of police were sent in to nuke me off the map. I have memories of side characters, and bitchy virtual girlfriends. I have AWFUL memories of a phone that wouldn’t stop ringing. Hell, I even have a DISTINCT memory of a particular 80’s pop music icon and a show I attended, but that is me getting ahead of myself.
Basically, all I am doing now is killing time until I can own GTA V. How I am killing time today is by looking back on some of my favorite GTA missions of all time. Keep in mind, this is an opinion piece. These are the coolest and most enjoyable missions…IN MY OPINION.
When you’re done reading, feel free to take to the comments and let me know which missions blew your mind or made you lulz. We are all family. Let’s share the Grand Theft Auto love.
