5 Tear-Jerking Moments From The Grand Theft Auto Series

You see what I did there?

You thought I was going to talk about some other major character dying in one of the older Grand Theft Auto games. Or perhaps, you thought I was going to bring up having to double cross someone or kill a character you liked (Dwayne)? Maybe you thought I was going to be ironic and bring up the phone again. I suppose any of those would have worked, but right now, I am crying for a whole different reason.

You see, right now, as a gamer, we need to understand that some other gamers are dicks. They derive joy from spoiling little aspects of the game for other people because it makes them feel powerful. So if you are playing GTA V like I am, you may want to avoid social networking until you have beaten this game. I am not kidding.

As a writer, I get sent articles, pitches, ideas and videos, and I like that quite a bit. My inbox always has something new coming in, and I have many editors who like it when I stay on top of certain games, and make sure I am writing articles that are tuned around those ideas. The problem with that is, for example, this week I had an editor email me and ask me if I would address the (I am actually censoring what was asked of me, so as to not spoil it for anyone else who is playing and is not there yet) and I lost my shit. What he asked me was to address some hype around a certain mission in GTA V where you do something rather questionable. No, it is not the mission everyone is talking about involving cannibalism. Instead, I am talking about the part where (again, totally censoring myself for the sake of all of you) and when I found that out, I was pissed.

That is a MAJOR plot point, and it was ruined. Ofcourse, all I had to do was dip over to Facebook to see that people were already posting about this mission, and so even if it hadn’t been spoiled earlier that day, it would have been anyway, and I think THAT is the biggest tear jerker at all about this series. The simple fact that everyone thinks everyone else beats it at the same pace, so they just talk about it freely.

Note, I did NOT do that anywhere in this article, and for that, you’re welcome.

Ah, screw it, Michael gets raped by an alien. Send all hate mail here.