We’ve all had that desire. That want for something in one of our favorite virtual worlds to become a reality. Maybe it’s a tool that would make our lives infinitely easier. Maybe it’s a virtual buddy that we think would be pretty cool to go on road trips with. Maybe we just think it’d be really freakin’ awesome to have the real Master Sword hanging over our mantle. Whatever the reason, most of the coolest things we use in our favorite games likely won’t be around for at least the next several decades, if ever.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t put out some sort of wish list if some nerdy scientists ever wanted to find a popular project *hint hint.*
And with that, these are the top 10 objects pulled from video games that are sorely in need of existence. And we start it off big with…
10. The Ocarina of Time – The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
You may not know it yet, but you really want this little blob of a wind instrument. Not only can mastering it sound really cool on, say, a classic rock tune, but the Ocarina of Time specifically can teleport you places, control the weather, and slow down time in case of a crisis.
What’s that? You were planning on having a nice picnic in your favorite park outside, but suddenly it’s started raining? A simple playing of the Sun’s Song means nothin’ but sunshine for the rest of the day. Or use it in the opposite way with the Song of Storms, and ruin the day of that annoying kid across the street who can’t seem to learn that it’s not okay to ride his bike into your garden.
Rushing to catch a train or plane, but you’re running late? Never fear! Just play the Song of Time backwards to bring time to a crawl and make your appointment with minutes to spare! Or play the Song of Double Time to make those boring hours at work fly by!
Or what if you need to get somewhere, but have no car, can’t stand walking and no loyal horse to call on command? This little pocket-sized flute-wannabe can teleport you to a predetermined spot using only the power of magic. The most fuel efficient mode of transportation is one that makes absolutely no sense at all!
For the record, there are Ocarinas of Time floating around out there. I have one. See?!
Funny thing though, it isn’t magic. Produces some awesome music, but it doesn’t do anything if you’re trying to summon a thunderstorm or move giant blocks with Triforces on them. Although it does get people hilariously humming along if you play Saria’s Song. Do do doooooo do do dooooo do do do DO dooooooo do DO do do dooooooooo.
Okay, fine. Maybe you don’t want to put faith in magic, (I can’t say I blame you). You’ve always been on the science side of things. And for that I give you…
9. The Gravity Gun – Half Life 2
The Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator, better known as the Gravity Gun from Half-Life 2, might be the best tool for the laziest of us gamers. Sure, there are those of us that might simply use it when we can’t reach the remote, but there are geniuses among us that will use it for better purposes.
With the Gravity Gun, you can lift virtually anything that’s not nailed down. Even things that are affixed to the ground might be fair game. With this, anyone can accomplish the annoying task of having to move furniture in order to vacuum underneath, or move your car into a spot you can’t quite line up to correctly. It apparently runs on some sort of perpetual energy since it never needs a battery change and doesn’t require ammo of any kind, so you could probably even rip it apart and use it as a generator for other energy-guzzling electronics around the house. Sorry, electric company! Black Mesa controls my power now.
And even for you gun nuts out there. Should you ever find yourself in a defensive situation, say an apocalypse full of zombies kind of thing, all you need is one of these puppies and a saw blade and you’re good to go! Just keep grabbing and relaunching the same blade and you’ll be obliterating the undead like a hot saw through rotting butter.
Although it’s probably a good idea to make sure your apocalypse buddy is standing behind you when you get all decapitation-friendly.
Eeek.
But on the off chance that something unfortunate should happen, and your buddy finds himself without a crucial limb or that precious cranium of his, looks like it’s a job for…
8. Save Points – Found In Most Games
We’ve all made mistakes in life. Some are small, like thinking your pair of threes is gonna win the pot at poker night. Some are big, like taking a job you know you shouldn’t have or telling someone a secret that probably should have stayed secret. Wouldn’t it be great if you could go back maybe an hour to before you made that mistake and try it again, but…you know…not make the mistake you did the first time? I don’t think I need to say how invaluable a save point would be in that situation.
Think about this, if you had multiple files, you could keep a save right before key moments in your life, and load up your later “present day” save immediately after. It’s almost like time travel, except without the whole “breaking the space-time continuum” thing. Want to go back and relive your glory days in high school, but jump right back into your middle-aged self with the full time job afterwards? Made possible with real life save points.
Or better yet, not sure whether your marriage is gonna work out? Well….
And think about all the benefits to soldiers! Their job will still be dangerous, but at least they won’t have to worry about biting the bullet. Although, even soldiers wouldn’t need save points if we had…
Click below to continue reading.
Published: Jul 19, 2012 07:11 pm