2) Ride to Hell: Retribution – 2013
Check this out for a storyline: a biker gang member’s brother gets murdered by members of a rival biker gang, who then seeks vengeance upon them. And if you think that’s good, wait till you hear the dialogue. I’m talking choice snippets of raw, emotional power, such as “He sowed seeds of distrust, and made fun of the dead!” and “Let me show you what a mechanic can really do, this girl can do more than just start an engine…”.
But Ride to Hell is not on this list because it’s a scripting abomination, it’s here because it’s utterly wrecked. Playing through it, it almost feels like it’s being held together simply by the disc that it’s on. As if the developers somehow poured a bunch of melted data onto a plate and let it cool into a vague disc shape. Even something as simple as motorbiking from point A to point B is like some kind of hideous torture as the road literally disappears from beneath you, leaving you to fall into oblivion. Also, occasionally random bits of the game’s internal code will pop up onto the screen telling you “GateOpen”, whatever that means, or that “all enemies in the area are dead”, even though you’re currently engaged in combat.
So what’s going on? In truth, no one knows. What people do seem to be in agreement on, however, is that Ride to Hell: Retribution certainly lives up to the initial part of its title. As for the retribution? Well, there’s some pretty hilarious sex scenes later on in the game, assuming you hate yourself enough to play that far into it.
Published: Feb 4, 2014 04:30 pm