10 Bond Theme Songs That Are Infinitely Better Than Sam Smith’s Writing’s On The Wall

It's a mixed bag of a film, but there's still a lot to love about newest James Bond movie, Spectre. It looks great, it sounds great, and the action is some of the best the series has ever produced. It also has one hell of a title sequence, a throwback to classic Bond titles in all ways except one: the tune that plays over it doesn't hold a candle to great 007 themes of old. Sam Smith's "Writing's On The Wall" isn't offensively bad - it's at least, not obviously, ostentatiously terrible like Alicia Keys and Jack White's "Another Way to Die" from Quantum of Solace - it's just entirely unmemorable. For a film that goes as big and bold as Spectre does, you expect a big, confident theme to match. Instead, "Writing's On The Wall" just sounds lazy and lyrically uninspired, lending credence to Smith's claim that he wrote it in under half an hour. With Spectre now in cinemas in the US, it's a good time to remember that artists responsible for the Bond theme can do far, far better than this. And on that note, here are ten past Bond themes that are infinitely better than "Writing's On The Wall." 10) Nobody Does It Better - Carly Simon Immortalized by Steve Coogan in TV's I'm Alan Partridge, Carly Simon's "Nobody Does It Better" was even before it was given the comedy treatment so inescapably campy and overblown as to be borderline laughable. That's its charm really - the very title is an innuendo, alluding to 007's skill as a spy, as well as his prowess as a dynamite lover. In spite of its daffiness, it's hard not to be swept up by "Nobody Does It Better's" 70s pop-rock stylings, or that oddly rousing chorus. And it fits The Spy Who Loved Me's ridiculous opening titles - full of naked women dancing on guns and Roger Moore's Bond shooting at them, for some reason - perfectly. 9) From Russia With Love - Matt Monro Oddly downbeat and chilly, Matt Monro's "From Russia With Love" is one of the least Bond-like Bond themes. But then again, From Russia With Love is one of the least Bond-like Bond movies. They reflect one another: the song is travel weary and tells a story of a man for whom human connection is only ever fleeting, much like Connery's Bond in this movie. The song's tinkling background percussion suggests the same Cold War paranoia that the film basks in, while the angsty strings hint at the psychological stress that might have on an international, alcoholic spy. Ultimately, Monro's mini-ballad is just a mature, classy song, tailor-made for arguably the classiest and most adult Bond movie of them all. 8) The World Is Not Enough - Garbage There have been some odd choices for Bond theme artist over the years, with Scottish-American alternative rock group Garbage perhaps the least likely pick of them all. And yet the decision to hire the band behind mildly punky chart hit "I Think I'm Paranoid" paid off, as the group came up with a rare Bond title tune that actually outclassed the film itself. "The World Is Not Enough" starts off sounding like a pastiche, with an orchestra aping John Barry's iconic Bond theme, before settling down into something that bridges old and new. It's weirdly sinister, and effortlessly sexy, in a way that the The World Is Not Enough film really isn't. 7) GoldenEye - Tina Turner For the only decent Pierce Brosnan Bond movie, Tina Turner (in collaboration with Bono and The Edge, who wrote the tune, bizarrely) was at her sassy best. "GoldenEye" doesn't break the mold, but rather - with its pulsating strings and shocking brass section - proves why artists hired for the Bond theme often go back to a similar formula. Every few years, there's a clean break, and the Bond movies retreat to their roots. The GoldenEye theme ditches the pop sound of the 80s Bond themes and goes back to basics, sounding - like the best Bond themes - enticingly dangerous, with a clear Shirley Bassey influence in the way Turner bellows "Now I've got you in my sight" for what was for her probably an uncomfortable length of time. 6) Diamonds Are Forever - Shirley Bassey Speaking of Shirley Bassey, no respectable list of Bond themes could go without mentioning the fact that Dame Shirley basically set the standard for what the series' opening credits should sound like. Even the lesser of the two she was behind - "Diamonds Are Forever" - is deliciously dark and cool, even despite the questionable funk-influenced backing track. The song speaks defiantly of the lure of material things, and the rejection of romance, before taking a curiously mournful turn at the halfway point. Then it's all summed up by Bassey yelling the word "forever" for several seconds, and all you're left wondering is how any human could feasibly sustain a note for so long. 5) A View To A Kill - Duran Duran Another example of the Bond theme far outdoing the movie, the crashing energy of Duran Duran's "A View to a Kill" is otherwise largely absent from a film that sees Roger Moore pretending to be an athletic super-spy despite the fact he's approaching pension age. While Moore is - to put it mildly - past his prime, the A View to a Kill Bond theme is in contrast a bracingly youthful ditty. None of the lyrics make sense of course - "Dance into the fire/That fatal kiss is all we need/When all we see is the view to a kill," goes the chorus - but "A View to a Kill" makes up for all the lyrical inanity with excessive confidence and a tacky vibrancy that marks so many great 80s pop songs. 4) You Only Live Twice - Nancy Sinatra You can imagine the order from on high regarding where Nancy Sinatra was to take You Only Live Twice's theme: "the film's set in Japan, so make the tune sound vaguely oriental." Ignoring for the moment that the Asian-influenced guitar bit sounds just a little insulting, though, the You Only Live Twice theme works surprisingly well. It's simple, poppy, and sung with typically naked sensuality by Sinatra. And as anyone who saw the season five finale of Mad Men - which reappropriated the song for its closing scene - knows, the words are surprisingly poignant and just a little bit haunting, telling a story of a man who's forced to constantly live a fantasy. 3) Live And Let Die - Paul McCartney & Wings It's entirely possible that Paul McCartney's best non-Beatles song also happens to be a Bond theme, proof that the position of Bond theme curator can bring out the best in musicians looking to make their mark on the iconic franchise. "Live and Let Die" is a thrilling, short burst of a pop-rock piece that incorporates a few different sounds in just its three-minute run. There's the slightly threatening 70s rock influence to begin, followed by the John Barry-esque instrumental, the jaunty reggae-influenced mid-section, and finally, the plaintive piano and vocals combo that wouldn't have sounded out of place on The Beatles' Let It Be album. McCartney and Wings made a mini epic out of this tune. 2) We Have All The Time In The World - Louis Armstrong As if it wasn't emotional enough that this is the film in which Bond's one true love is unceremoniously slaughtered, On Her Majesty's Secret Service also features the most achingly melancholy Bond theme of them all, with the tone set from the start via the medium of Louis Armstrong and his inherently bittersweet singing voice. "We Have All the Time in the World" is something of an anomaly in that it's a Bond theme re-imagined as the theme for a tragic romance, not a Bond movie. It doesn't suit 007 at all, even if the film does see the spy find the love of his life and decide to finally settle down, but it's a delightful, swooningly romantic effort all the same. 1) Goldfinger - Shirley Bassey It couldn't really be anything else in the top spot. Shirley Bassey's theme for Goldfinger is the gold standard for Bond tunes, the one that sounds most bold and Bond-like, and the one that the franchise still hasn't managed to top over 50 years later. It begins with a crash, and then an attention-seeking wah-wah-WAH from the fellows on the horn section, before the instrumental shushes and allows Bassey to get to work. Lyrically, it's perfect stuff, detailing just how much of a rotten bastard the film's villain is, while Bassey is a force of nature, at the end resorting merely to blasting the word "gold" out at the top of her lungs for no reason other than it sounds awesome. In short, it's simply amazing.

10 Bond Theme Songs That Are Infinitely Better Than Sam Smith’s Writing’s On The Wall

10) Nobody Does It Better – Carly Simon